[Verse 1] Boy rolled up all confident, chest puffed out and proud. Talkin’ ‘bout his tolerance, sayin’ it real loud. Said, “I’ve smoked with everybody, nothing gets me lit.” I just smiled and handed him a tiny little hit. Two puffs later, eyes went wide. He looked at me and whispered, “I think I’m outside my body.” ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] Oh honey, no… This ain’t beginner grass. This is “cancel your evening” Top-shelf wizard class. ⸻ [Chorus] My weed’ll put your dick in the dirt. Sit your ego down and humble your flirt. Got grown men gigglin’, forgettin’ their words. Starin’ at the ceiling talkin’ to birds. My weed so heavy it could flatten a herd… But we don’t condone elephant abuse, that’s absurd. No sir. We respect wildlife around here. 😂 ⸻ [Verse 2] Suddenly he’s fascinated by the coffee table grain. Asked me if the carpet has a government name. Thirty minutes later, man’s become a philosopher king. Askin’ if plants can hear him when he sings. Now he’s petting imaginary dogs. Drinkin’ water like he crossed three deserts. ⸻ [Pre-Chorus] You came in all swagger. Now look at your fate. Wrapped in a blanket Negotiating with space. ⸻ [Chorus] My weed’ll put your dick in the dirt. It’s not an insult, babe, it’s just how it works. Your confidence melted. Your bravado got hurt. Now you’re emotional over a grilled dessert. My weed so heavy it could flatten a herd… But we don’t condone elephant abuse, that’s absurd. Save the elephants. Roast the ego. ⸻ [Bridge] This ain’t toxic. This ain’t mean. It’s a public service, if you know what I mean. Sometimes life needs a little reset. And sometimes that reset Comes rolled up. 😂 ⸻ [Final Chorus] My weed’ll put your dick in the dirt. Leave your pride folded up in your shirt. You’ll be texting your mother, Tellin’ her you love her, Wonderin’ why clouds gotta work so hard. My weed don’t fight. My weed don’t flirt. It just politely Puts your dick in the dirt.
