[Intro] [Lute] [Playful] [Verse 1] [Spoken Word] [Deadpan] So we're walking down the road, right? Just walking. Three bandits jump out like "Give us your stuff!" We said no, they insisted, We killed their horse by accident And looted a single silver piece And a tiny wooden horse that might be cursed. [Chorus] [Sung] [High Energy] [Belted] We are the party! What kind of party? Questionable, deeply questionable party! Haven't saved the parents, only level two, Got a basket full of vegetables And that'll have to do! [Verse 2] [Spoken Word] [Building Energy] Get to town, lady says "catch my newts," We just fought armed men on a highway but Yes ma'am we will catch your newts. Then a little girl runs in crying, "Angry men took my mom and dad!" So Zareck picks up Rosalind like a backpack 'Cause she can't see in the dark, She's dangling there with a lantern like a human chandelier. [Verse 3] [Spoken Word] [Frustrated] We check for magic, nothing. Zareck sniffs a cloth, nothing. Fingernail marks on the wall, upsetting but not helpful. We found one red scrap of fabric. One scrap! That's it! That's all the evidence! CSI Ashford Crossing everybody! [Chorus] [Sung] [High Energy] [Belted] We are the party! What kind of party? Questionable, deeply questionable party! Haven't saved the parents, only level two, Got a basket full of vegetables And that'll have to do! [Verse 4] [Spoken Word] [Upbeat] [Accelerating] Next morning we go shopping 'cause trauma can wait. Zahala casually reveals she has an inheritance, Comes back with seven hundred gold! Where was this energy during the newt quest?! We blow four hundred on a Basket of Holding And Rosalind immediately fills it with vegetable seeds, Potatoes, tomatoes, garlic, watermelon, They sprout instantly! She's a farmer's market on legs! [Verse 5] [Spoken Word] [Dramatic] [Slow Build] We find the bandit camp, a goblin named Sprit Gollum-walks out of a tent twitching like he owes everyone money. We beat him down, Rosalind puts him to sleep, Zahala hogties him, Zareck gags him with a cloth. That cloth? Probably the red one. Only cloth we've found this whole campaign. [Final Chorus] [Sung] [Belted] [Triumphant] [Full Band] We are the party! What kind of party? Questionable, deeply questionable party! Haven't saved the parents, only level two, Got a basket full of vegetables And that'll have to do! Goblin-gagging, horse-killing, newt-catching, Basket-of-Holding-abusing party! And we'll be back next session! Probably! [Outro] [Lute Solo] [Whispered] Milo still hates Zareck. [End]
