[Intro] [spoken, dry, over a simple repetitive beat] People think I’m disorganized. I’m not. I have a system. [Beat] It’s a very sophisticated system. [Beat] I put things somewhere safe. [Beat] That’s the system. [Verse 1] I had my keys this morning. I put them somewhere safe. Now I can’t find them. [Beat] But they’re safe. That’s the important part. [Beat] They’re not lost. They’re safe. [Verse 2] I had a screwdriver yesterday. Needed it for something. Put it somewhere safe. [Beat] Can’t find the screwdriver. [Beat] But I know where it is. Somewhere safe. [Beat] I just don’t know where safe is. [Chorus] [slightly louder, backing vocals] I PUT IT SOMEWHERE SAFE SOMEWHERE SAFE I PUT IT SOMEWHERE SAFE THAT’S THE PROBLEM NOBODY KNOWS WHERE SAFE IS [Verse 3] I have a drawer. It’s full of important things. Cables. Batteries. Adapters. Three things I don’t recognize. A key to something. [Beat] I don’t know what. [Beat] But I kept it. Because it’s probably important. [Beat] It’s in the safe drawer. [Verse 4] Sometimes I find things. And I don’t remember losing them. That’s a good day. [Beat] I’ll find something and say, “Oh shit.” There it is. [Beat] Then I remember why I put it there. [Beat] No. I don’t. [Beat] But I remember putting it somewhere safe. [Chorus] I PUT IT SOMEWHERE SAFE SOMEWHERE SAFE I DON’T KNOW WHERE BUT IT’S SAFE I PUT IT SOMEWHERE SAFE AND THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME [Bridge] [beat strips down] My phone? Safe. My wallet? Safe. My keys? Safe. The thing I need right now? [Long pause] Extremely safe. [Beat] So safe… I may never see it again. [Verse 5] I’ve started putting things in obvious places. That doesn’t work either. Because then I see it. And think, “Why the fuck did I put that there?” So I move it somewhere safe. [Beat] Now it’s gone. [Chorus] [more animated] I HAVE A SYSTEM I HAVE A SYSTEM YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND IT I HAVE A SYSTEM I PUT IT SOMEWHERE SAFE SOMEWHERE SAFE SOMEWHERE SAFE [Breakdown] [spoken, almost whispering] Where’s my phone? [Beat] I don’t know. [Beat] Have you seen my phone? [Beat] No. [Beat] I’m using it. [Long pause] Okay. [Outro] [beat continues] I’m gonna put my phone somewhere safe. [Beat] There. [Beat] Now… Where did I put it? [Final beat] I have a system.
