# TRICK OR TREAT AT THE DEVIL'S DRIVE-THRU *TSCMS Halloween Mad Lib Song Challenge* [INTRO — 8 SECONDS] [AM RADIO STATIC. RUSTY PICKUP ENGINE. CROOKED BANJO RIFF. SLAPPING UPRIGHT BASS.] [DEEP MALE BARITONE CROON] Well, butter my biscuits... The Devil's got a drive-thru! [VERSE 1 — LAZY ROCKABILLY SWING] On Halloween, **Elvira** led us Past the **church bell** burning bright. Dressed as **Frankenstein's bride**, with a **radioactive green** face, They marched us through the night. I wore **bloody overalls** with **cowboy boots**, And packed **a possum-shaped lunchbox** for the sweets. We rode to **the Devil's drive-thru** on **a hearse with monster-truck wheels**, To haunt the moonlit streets. A **banjo-playing werewolf** waved us over, With a wicked, toothy grin. We tried to **moonwalk with a headless chicken** beside the gate, Then someone called us in! [CHORUS — EXPLOSIVE HORROR PUNK] [STOMPING TOMS, SNARLING TELECASTER, FIERY BANJO, HUGE MONSTER GANG VOCALS] Trick or treat in **cowboy boots**, Come knocking at the door! Something **slimy**, something **radioactive**— We're coming back for more! We can handle **zombies** and **possessed possums**, We'll laugh at any fright. But **a tap-dancing severed head**? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [VERSE 2 — ROCKABILLY BOUNCE] First, **the Grim Reaper** answered, Dressed as **Dolly Parton** in red. We picked **trick**; got **a live rattlesnake in a biscuit**— “**WELL, THAT AIN'T CHICKEN!**” we said. Next, **Dracula** wore **a barbecue apron**, With **a screaming rubber chicken** beneath one arm. We chose **treat**; got **a banjo-playing corpse on a unicycle**— That set off every car alarm! [CHORUS — FULL HORROR-PUNK BAND] Trick or treat in **cowboy boots**, Come knocking at the door! Something **slimy**, something **radioactive**— We're coming back for more! We can handle **zombies** and **possessed possums**, We'll laugh at any fright. But **a tap-dancing severed head**? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [BRIDGE — THE DEVIL'S DRIVE-THRU] [DROP TO UPRIGHT BASS, SINISTER BANJO, DEEP BARITONE] Then **Old Scratch**, dressed as **a hillbilly prom queen**, Stepped out into the light. “Choose **a deep-fried eyeball** or **I'll turn your pickup into a pumpkin**! Which will it be tonight?” We picked **treat**; he passed us **a bucket of glowing moonshine**, Then pointed at the moon. “Now **cluck like a chicken**!” He chanted, “**HOCUS POCUS, POSSUM LOCUS!**” And the fiddler struck a tune. [INSTRUMENTAL BREAK] [WILD BANJO RUN, SCREAMING FIDDLE, UPRIGHT BASS SLAP; BAND CRASHES BACK IN] [FINAL CHORUS — BIGGER, ROWDIER, MONSTER GANG] Trick or treat in **cowboy boots**, Come knocking at the door! Something **slimy**, something **radioactive**— We're coming back for more! We can handle **zombies** and **possessed possums**, We'll laugh at any fright. But **a tap-dancing severed head**? We draw the line! Trick or treat tonight! [OUTRO — THE TWIST] [THE BAND DROPS OUT. LONE BANJO, LOW BARITONE.] Then **Cousin Cletus** dropped his **rubber chicken mask**, And we all began to shake. Beneath it lurked a real **banjo-playing werewolf**— That costume wasn't fake! My **belly button** turned into **green bubbling gravy**, It spread across my skin. That cursed **moonshine cupcake** had changed us all— The monsters were within! [BUILD — STOMPING TOMS, UPRIGHT BASS, FINAL YODEL] Now we haunt **the Devil's drive-thru** each Halloween, Come knocking at your door. Give us **deep-fried moon pies**, and we won't **steal your dentures**— Unless you ask for more! [FINAL STING] [ONE LONESOME YODEL. BANJO CHORD. CASH REGISTER KA-CHING. DEAD SILENCE.] [DEEP BARITONE, WHISPERED] Yee-haw... And don't eat the gravy.
