---------------------------- Lyrics by : Kathlene Rushing © 2025 Kathlene Rushing original music by creator – full rights owned All rights reserved. ---------------------------- [Intro – Spoken, over lazy guitar strumming] Now this here’s a little story about a man with gold curtains, A big ol’ tower, and a mighty small attention span. He woke up one day with a tweetin’ hand and said, “I declare war! But not with bombs—with taxes, my man!” [Verse 1 – Spoken-Sung] He slapped a tariff on dishwashers, sneakers, and steel, Said, “Buy American!” then ordered lunch from Brazil. Told the farmers, “It’s fine, I’ll write ya a check,” Then sold soybeans to China and left ‘em a wreck. [Chorus – Sing-Talked in a cheerful tone] You can’t get much at Donald’s Tariff Emporium, Where prices go up and logic’s just decorum. We’ve got trade wars, soy sauce bans, A surplus of hats and no concrete plans. [Verse 2 – Deadpan Delivery] Now Walmart cried and Apple sighed, And Harley said, “We’re takin’ a ride— Outta the country where labor’s cheap,” But Donald said, “That’s fake news—go back to sleep.” [Bridge – Harmonica break with light sarcasm] [Verse 3 – Escalating Absurdity] He tariffed Canadian maple syrup and cheese, Then yelled at Trudeau for sayin’ “please.” Said Europe was robbin’ us blind with wine, While sipping Bordeaux—“This French stuff’s fine!” [Chorus – Repeat with more gusto] You can’t find reason at Donald’s Tariff Emporium, Where trade gets twisted into a new decorum. We got costs high, allies low, And an economic plan that’s mostly for show. [Outro – Whispered Like a Secret] Now if you wanna avoid tariffs, here’s what you do: Hide your goods, pack your bags, and buy in Timbuktu. But don’t ask questions or make too much fuss, Or you’ll end up tariffed… like the rest of us.
