[Verse 1] I opened up the news at eight Apparently the world's gone to hell of late We're doomed by Tuesday, broke by three And something in my breakfast wants to murder me The left says "RUN!" the right says "FIGHT!" Some asshole says the moon ain't right I closed the screen, looked out instead The birds were singing Nobody's dead [Spoken, dry] Well... not here, anyway. [Chorus] The world's gone crazy — whatever Been losing its shit forever Everybody's screaming, "THIS IS THE END!" Then there's an ad, and we start again They can panic together Predict shitty weather Tell me civilization's coming untethered I'll be right here With coffee and cheer Saying, "World's gone crazy... Whatever." [Verse 2] There's twelve new ways I should be afraid Seven new sins and an upgrade paid My phone knows things I haven't thought yet And keeps suggesting shit I don't wanna get Some billionaire's building a rocket to Mars Some influencer's healing her trauma with jars A man online says truth's been banned He's got the truth for twenty bucks And a payment plan [Spoken, sarcastic] How convenient. [Chorus] The world's gone crazy — whatever Been batshit bonkers forever Everybody's got the One True Fact And a podcast telling you how to react They can rage together Foam at the mouth together Fight complete strangers about fucking weather I'll pour my brew Find something better to do 'Cause the world's gone crazy... Whatever. [Verse 3] They say AI's coming to steal my soul The government's watching my toilet roll The planet's doomed, the markets fell And Mercury's apparently raising hell There's toxins in water, toxins in bread Toxins in whatever I just fucking read I asked my body, "Should we be alarmed?" It said, "Maybe eat lunch We're truly starved." [Spoken] Fair point. [Bridge — dirty half-time blues] Now I ain't saying Nothing matters at all Some things need tending Some things need balls But I ain't required To swallow every fear Some twitchy motherfucker Broadcasts into my ear [Band drops out] [Spoken, slow] Sometimes wisdom is knowing... [Pause] ...when to turn the friggin' thing off. [Instrumental break — dirty slide guitar and harmonica] [Verse 4] So I stepped outside where the sky was blue And strangely enough, it was still there too A dog chased a ball, two sparrows had sex Neither one checked the Dow Jones index The wind didn't ask what side I'm on The trees hadn't heard that hope was gone And somewhere a kid laughed hard enough To remind this old world It ain't quite fucked [Final Chorus — big, rowdy] Yeah, the world's gone crazy — whatever We're ridiculous creatures together We've survived bad kings, bad hair, bad gods Disco, dial-up, and terrible jobs So when panic comes knocking With charts and a letter Saying, "THIS TIME WE'RE FUCKED AND IT'S FUCKED FOREVER!" I'll look around Put my feet on the ground Raise my coffee and say: [Band drops out] [Spoken] Maybe. [Beat] Whatever. [Outro — stomping groove, unruly harmonica] World's gone crazy... [Spoken] Yeah. Always was a bit fucking weird. Whatever.
