2. Carnival of Hate

[Intro - Spoken deadpan:] *"The performer welcomes you to the show:"* "...The show is hatred...The hatred is fun..." —*("...You are expected to clap along!")* [Verse 1] Step right up Step right fucking up Welcome to the Carnival of Hate We got games We got prizes We got midway attractions guaranteed to make you feel worse about yourself than when you walked in [Chorus] CARNIVAL OF HATE EVERYBODY WINS CARNIVAL OF HATE YOUR PRIZE IS DESPAIR STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT FUCKING UP [Verse 2] Toss the ring around the bottle The bottle is my neck Three rings for a dollar Win a stuffed animal Win a stuffed version of my disappointment Win a plush replica of your own face when you realize you paid money to be here [Chorus] CARNIVAL OF HATE RIDE THE RIDE CARNIVAL OF HATE DON'T STAND TOO CLOSE THE OPERATOR HASN'T BEEN TRAINED [Verse 3] Test your strength Hit the bell with the hammer I am the bell I am the hammer I am the machine that measures how hard you hit I am the man who hands you the prize when you fail Congratulations You hit 400 pounds of force Your prize is knowing you are stronger than me Your prize is watching me reset the machine for the next customer [Chorus] CARNIVAL OF HATE NO REFUNDS CARNIVAL OF HATE NO EXITS THE DOORS ARE DECORATIONS THE WINDOWS ARE PAINTED SHUT [Bridge] The fortune teller machine takes quarters It prints your future on a small card I am the fortune teller machine I am the quarters I am the card Your future: you will return Your future: you will bring friends Your future: you will describe this as "fun" even though you are uncomfortable Your future: you will forget the discomfort and remember only the lights I am the lights I am the discomfort I am the forgetting [Final Chorus] CARNIVAL OF HATE I AM THE MIDWAY I AM THE CARNY I AM THE RIDE THAT MAKES YOU SICK I AM THE LINE YOU WAIT IN I AM THE TICKET YOU BOUGHT I AM THE MONEY YOU WASTED I AM THE HATE I AM THE CARNIVAL [Post-chorus] Step right up Step right fucking up We are closing in twenty minutes We are closing forever This is the final season This is the last call This is the last chance to feel worse about yourself than when you arrived [Breakdown] Congratulations! You made it You're here You're miserable —You're exactly where I need you to be [Outro] CARNIVAL OF HATE THANK YOU COME AGAIN CARNIVAL OF HATE THANK YOU COME AGAIN THANK YOU COME AGAIN THANK YOU —COME...