Employee of the Month

[Intro - Palm-muted guitars, playful spoken intro, restaurant bell, band kicks in] [Ossir: main vocalist] Well... Clocked in... Two minutes early. ...That's basically unpaid overtime. [Full Band kicks in] [Verse 1 - Bright crunchy pop-punk, cheeky vocals, energetic] Everybody knows I run this place Big bright smile and a gorgeous face Pour the drinks, I'm customer gold [Female hispanic vocalist] "Ossir, you dropped another fuckin' bowl." Started late but I made it here Needed coffee... maybe twenty beers Meph keeps sayin' "Pull your weight!" Bitch, I'm preservin' my mental state [Pre-Chorus - Building tension, gang backing vocals] I've been slavin' like a fuckin' jerk Break my back for trash-tier perks No appreciation, no respect Where's my goddamn paycheck?! [Chorus - Huge singalong, soaring power chords, "whoa-oh" gang chants] EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Put my picture on the wall! I've been workin like a dog Carryin' you all! EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Put my picture on the wall! Without me this place Wouldn't work at all! Whoa-oh-oh! When we gettin' paid?! Whoa-oh-oh! I gotta go out 'n get laid! [Verse 2 - Fast and playful, sarcastic attitude] Sera smiled, I gave free wine Thoughtful service every time [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] "Ossir... that wine was worth 10 gold." So what??... woman's a fuckin supermodel. Customer says "Excuse me, mate..." I said "Cunt, you'll just have to wait." Needed fresh air, cleared my head... Ate out Zavine at the bath house instead. [Ossir: main vocalist spoken, laughing and cheeky] Jimmy spilled red wine today... In his lap.... Oops. Totally an accident... [Meph: female hispanic vocialist spoken] "Bullshit, you fuckin' perve!!" [Chorus - Bigger, louder, crowd chant energy] EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Put my picture on the wall! I've been workin like a dog Carryin' you all! EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Put my picture on the wall! Without me this place Wouldn't work at all! Whoa-oh-oh! When we gettin' paid?! Whoa-oh-oh! I gotta go out 'n get laid! [Bridge - Instruments strip back, awkward spoken performance review between Tazar Mephala and Ossir, deadpan comedy, end with explosive guitar hit] [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] "Ossir... take a seat." "You're late... again." [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] "You called in sick again? 'too depressed'... then Meph saw you dancing at the tavern." "Disappeared halfway through ya shift." [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] "Gave away seven bottles of wine yesterday" [Female hispanic vocalist] "There's 14 complaints from customers." "You threatened to shoot Sandro and Sunan with your bow." [Female hispanic vocalist] "You've been lying across the staircase, that's a safety hazard." "Disappeared behind the chicken coop....again." [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] "You've taken 43 smoke breaks tonight... ...YOU DON'T EVEN SMOKE!!!" [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] "You told customers I don't pay you??" "You already spent today's wages!!!!." [Long silence] [Ossir: main vocalist, cocky] ... "So..." "Are you guys saying.....I'm ...Employee of the Month???" [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] "...Get out." [Huge guitar explosion instrumental break] [Final Chorus - Full band, biggest singalong, layered gang vocals, triumphant even though he's being fired] [Ossir: main vocalist] EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Knew you'd come around! Soon they'll build a statue Right here in this town! EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Finally my due! [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] ("OSSIR YOU'RE ACTUALLY FUCKING FIRED!") [Ossir: main vocalist] ...Does that come with more pay too? (Gang vocals) Whoa-oh-oh! Employee! Whoa-oh-oh! That's me! Whoa-oh-oh! Damn... I'm such a hot shit waiter! [Meph: female hispanic vocialist spoken] ("Shit waiter is right") [Tazar: Deep male vocalist spoken] "...Meph, please escort him out." [Ossir: main vocalist] Ohhhhhh....oh EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH! Put my fuckin' picture up!!!! Oh-oh... baby... yeah.... uh-huh... Whoa-oh-oh! Employee! Whoa-oh-oh! That's me!