NOT RECOMMENDED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION

[Intro] [piano only, warm, theatrical] Welcome, darling We've been expecting you We've been making this Since before your mother was young Pull up a chair [Verse 1] Red and yellow, blue and bright Making your breakfast a beautiful sight Petroleum-based but they colour so well Six decades of children under our spell Froot Loops and Doritos and Gatorade too No nutritional value — just pretty for you Safe as houses, the FDA agrees Step right up darling, eat whatever you please [Chorus] Warning This product contains an ingredient Not recommended for human consumption By the appropriate authority in Australia Canada The European Union Or the United Kingdom [piano tinkles softly] ...Isn't that something [Verse 2] When Texas tried printing that onto the box We called our lawyers and took it to court We sued the state for compelling our speech The First Amendment keeps the truth out of reach We have rights, darling Companies have rights And one of those rights Is not having to say it Out loud [Chorus] Warning This product contains an ingredient Not recommended for human consumption By the appropriate authority in Australia Canada The European Union Or the United Kingdom [pause] ...Isn't that something [Bridge] [softer, tender, almost a lullaby] But we've been listening And we've been thinking And we want you to know That we've been quietly Removing those ingredients From our recipes Not because the label was right Heavens no Because we care We have always cared about you Try the new recipe Simply Naked Fresh and clean Nothing to hide [piano chord resolves sweetly] Brought to you by Americans For Ingredient Transparency [Final Chorus] Warning This product contains an ingredient Not recommended for human consumption By the appropriate authority in Australia Canada The European Union Or the United Kingdom We removed it So we wouldn't have to say that [beat] You're welcome [Outro] [spoken, warm, the smile never breaking] Thank you for sixty years of trust We'll see you at breakfast