"Merry Christmas, y'all!" "I'm sweating my balls out here" (HAHAHAHAHA) This fuckin’ heat got Santa (yup) Questioning life, (hoooo!) Red suit smells like sweat and bad advice. No snow angels — just asses stuck to chairs, December hits like summer on steroids here. Asphalt cooking feet like it’s lunch on demand, Snowman? Nah, we sculpt it outta sand. Sunburn Christmas, sunscreen on my list, If hell had a season, it’d look like this. They sell this cold-ass dream on every screen, Meanwhile I’m melting in a red-and-green scene. (oh shit) All these winter vibes feel like a scam, ’Cause December down here don’t give a damn. It’s Christmas heat, yeah, sweat everywhere, Santa looks pissed, rethinking his career. Christmas heat, I’m stuck half-dead, Tree full of lights, but my brain’s fried instead. No snow, no peace, just suffering deluxe, Merry fuckin’ Christmas — this season sucks, Turn the fan on, pray it gives a fuck. They put fake pine trees like it’s some cold land, I slap a plant on the table — that’s the plan. One red ball, cheap star on top, Say “it’s Christmas” and I let it drop. Presents? Fuck no, we’re broke as shit, (oof) If there’s panettone, we’re rich for a bit. Everyone smiling like money exists, Capitalism cosplaying as festive bliss. They preach about fireplaces and cozy nights, I’m arguing with my fan like “bro, fight”. Movies show coats, gloves, frozen air, (huh) I’m naked on the floor begging for mercy here. Hot drinks? Nah, that’s criminal intent, (Sheesh) My water comes warm like it’s already spent. Holiday cheer evaporates on sight, When your pillow feels illegal at night. They sing about frost like it’s universal law, I’m sweating through carols questioning God. Even the tap gives up halfway through, That faucet so thirsty it drank my juice. (whaaat?!) It’s Christmas heat, yeah, same damn curse, Red clothes feel like a hate crime on Earth. Christmas heat, fake joy parade, Sweating through smiles that I never asked to make. Sing “Let it Snow”, I’ll lose my shit, Only thing falling is my will to live, Merry fuckin’ Christmas — deal with it. I wish it was cold, just once in my life, So this whole damn season didn’t feel like a lie. Instead I’m here cooking, mentally fried, Celebrating stress with a Santa disguise. Santa would quit after block number one, Reindeer pass out, sleigh ride done. Elf union strikes due to heat abuse, North Pole myth completely reduced. They dream of frost, I dream of shade, Holiday spirit sun-damaged. Fan on max, still losing the war, Even sleep feels like unpaid labor. If December had honesty baked in, It’d say “sorry bro, you’re fucked again”. This ain’t festive, this is endurance test, Surviving Christmas like the rest. No snow falling, no winter cheat, Just loud-ass songs and unbearable heat. This ain’t a vibe — it’s a thermal defeat. ("I feel like my vest is merging with my body") It’s Christmas heat, yuh welcome to hell, Santa saw the forecast and said “go fuck yourselves”. Christmas heat, same sweaty lie, fuckin "ho-ho-hoe", In here you burn alive. No coats, no chill, no winter defense, Just vibes collapsing in self-defense. Christmas heat — forget the cheer, Only bells ringing is my patience disappearing. "Merry. Fucking. Christmas" "If you're from NA? you're a lucky bastard." "Book me a flight (for Christmas)" "It's too hot here"
