VAT CATULA — Night Shift

[INTRO — LOW GOTHIC ORGAN, DISTANT WAREHOUSE HUM] [Vat Catula — calm, theatrical, conversational] Hello. You may have seen me around the warehouse. I work nights. Have for quite some time. I suppose I'm not particularly memorable. There are plenty of us on night crew. People come in. People go home. Some stay for years. Some disappear after a few weeks. The warehouse doesn't really notice. Neither do most people. [Brief pause] And that's fine with me. I prefer it that way. [QUIET FOOTSTEPS] You see... Night shift is different. During the day, everything is bright. Every aisle is busy. Every door is opening and closing. Forklifts everywhere. People talking. Everyone knows everyone. But at night... Things become much quieter. You can hear the building. The hum of the lights. The refrigeration units. The chargers. The occasional squeak of a pallet jack somewhere in the distance. And if you stay here long enough... You start to notice things. [PAUSE] Small things. Things most people wouldn't notice. Like how certain lights always flicker. How some doors never seem to close properly. How the warehouse sounds different when there's nobody around. [SOFT ORGAN SWELL] I enjoy those hours. The quiet ones. That's when I feel most comfortable. [FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE] I usually start my night the same way. Check the equipment. Walk the aisles. See what needs to be done. Nothing unusual. Just work. [METAL CLINK] Like this. [PAUSE] The forklifts need to be ready before the crew really gets moving. Batteries charged. Connections checked. Everything where it belongs. [BATTERY DISCONNECT — METALLIC CLICK] There. Ready for the night. [SHORT PAUSE] You might be wondering why I spend so much time around the charging area. It's really quite simple. I like the atmosphere. The warmth. The smell. The little sounds the batteries make. [PAUSE] And... I have a particular appetite. [LOW, SUBTLE MUSICAL ACCENT] But don't worry. I'm very careful. I've worked here a long time. You learn the rules. You learn which doors to use. Which lights to avoid. Which people ask too many questions. And which people don't ask enough. [QUIET CHUCKLE] The night crew has always been good to me. They don't seem to mind that I'm a little different. Maybe they haven't noticed. Maybe they have. It's difficult to tell. [FOOTSTEPS] I've heard the usual rumors, of course. Someone saw me standing in an aisle after everyone else had gone home. Someone noticed I never seem to take a lunch break. Someone wondered why I always seem to be around when the lights go out. People talk. That's what people do. [PAUSE] But nobody has ever actually asked me. So I haven't had to explain. [ORGAN — SLOWER] Besides... What would I tell them? That I've been around longer than I look? That daylight isn't really my favorite thing? That I've developed a fondness for certain warehouse supplies? [PAUSE] No. Probably best to keep things simple. I'm just another worker. That's all. I clock in. I do my job. I clock out. Just like everybody else. [PAUSE] Well... Almost. [SOFT, DARK CHORD] There are some advantages to working nights. You don't have to worry about the sun. You get plenty of peace and quiet. And nobody complains when you disappear into the darker parts of the building. [FOOTSTEPS FADE] So if you're ever here late... And you see someone walking through the warehouse... Don't be alarmed. It might just be me. Checking the aisles. Getting the equipment ready. Doing my part. [PAUSE] And if you hear something behind you... Don't turn around too quickly. [LONG PAUSE] You might interrupt my dinner. [VERY SUBTLE DARK LAUGH] Anyway... It's been nice talking to you. I should probably get back to work. There's a forklift waiting for me. And... I have a battery to unplug. [METALLIC CLICK] Good night. [PAUSE] And pleasant dreams. [LOW GOTHIC STING] VAT CATULA.