I wake up already bracing Like something’s about to fall My chest feels tight without a reason My thoughts don’t line up at all I scroll through hours in silence Just to feel something respond Every time I reach for comfort I remember it’s gone I keep asking the ceiling What I was supposed to change I stayed honest, stayed present Still ended up in pain I feel anxious, desperate, lonely Exhausted past sleep I keep asking why loving you Cost me pieces of me I didn’t play games or disappear I didn’t love halfway or cold I didn’t hurt you to protect myself All I did was love I held space when it was heavy Held my tongue when it hurt I learned how to wait in silence Put your needs before my worth I watched myself start fading Just to keep the peace alive I kept lowering the standard Just to stay inside your life You said things that felt like closeness Then left me alone with them I carried every word you gave me Like it was a promise instead I feel anxious, desperate, lonely Like I don’t belong anywhere I keep asking what was wrong with me For caring the way I cared I didn’t demand or control I didn’t try to take your soul I just stayed when it got difficult All I did was love I don’t recognize myself anymore I used to feel steady Now I measure my worth By moments of attention That shouldn’t decide me I thought love was supposed to hold you Not make you question your name I thought staying was strength Not something that eats you away I feel anxious, desperate, lonely Not wanted, not chosen, unsure I keep asking how something so real Left me feeling so small If giving fully means disappearing If honesty leaves you undone Then tell me what I missed When all I did was love I didn’t love wrong I just loved someone who couldn’t hold it Santi flores
