Great Value Nothingburger

Here he comes, the king of the afternoon Wearing yesterday's frown like a cartoon Yeah, the Human Participation Award The Unpaid Intern of Life He yells at flies, then takes a nap at 2 PM Mum does his laundry – given up on him again Professional Floor Tile Observer – that's his role No drive, no spark, no pulse, no soul A human blob in yesterday's dried-up stain Getting winded switching channels on his brain The only thing he conquers is his couch's left side Five years of "I'll start Monday" – that's his pride He dreams of a Rolex, a BMW, a baddie on his arm But the world just doesn't get his tragic, twisted charm His special pillow's seen some things – won't ask "how" or "when" Yeah, the Human Participation Award – still waiting for his win No job, no car, no plan, no chance Best he can do is a sad little pants-walk-dance Too scared for sunlight, stays in his cave Hentai anime's the only love he ever gave Never had a girlfriend, not even a hug Just a human question mark on a basement rug He swears he's "a nice guy" – the women just don't see Bro, the common denominator here is definitely thee He dreams of a Rolex, a BMW, a baddie on his arm But the world just doesn't get his tragic, twisted charm His special pillow's seen some things – won't ask "how" or "when" Yeah, the Unpaid Intern of Life – still waiting for his win Unfucked and angry, roams incel forums at night Preaches "looksmaxing" – bro, nothing will save that height The women owe him everything, or so he insists His MMORPG waifu has bigger tits than his fists An ugly caterpillar waiting for wings that won't grow His digital girlfriend wears less than a pro, you know He's got a "Plan" – in crayon on his wall Step one: blame society. Step two: do nothing at all Skidmarks in his boxers – that's his legacy Deepest chat's with Funko Pops, sadly Stumbles through life, stumbles through time Trips on the runner every single time No glow, no grace, no fight, no flame Just a fart-stained loser – what a shame Still no Rolex, still no car, still no girl, no clue The world still doesn't get him – shocker, who knew? Here he goes, the ghost of the afternoon Still wearing yesterday's frown like a cartoon Yeah, the Human Participation Award The Unpaid Intern of Life – forever ignored No life, no flame, no drive, no spine Just a Great Value Nothingburger – past his prime