[Intro] WHEN… WHEN… WHEN… [Verse 1] Now, the last part of this story I wish was a lie. But it’s not! I would tell you if I was lying, too, just to keep it cool and exciting. But, just with my luck, as I was walking out to get my mail, things got rather boring from this point. It couldn’t have been a more perfect time for ridiculously large lawn-morphing grass spiders, which were easily killed by just one drop of milk, a grain of salt, or even 0.01 parts per million of carbon monoxide, to show up and pay me a visit. [Pre-Chorus] They were trying to pull me underground, wrap me up like a big ol’ meat sack, and snack on me later when… [Stop] [Verse 2] Several of my neighbors saw what was going on and came running to the rescue with buckets of salt, Super Soakers filled with milk, and idling cars when… [Stop] [Chorus] Suddenly, thousands of swarming Sky Gremlins with chainsaws landed on top of them and sawed their heads off. Then they whipped out their guitars and started thrashing. Then all of us started a mosh pit and got drunk on lawn-spider piss when… [Stop] [Bridge] All of us fell backward into an endless black hole for all eternity. As I was falling, I ran into a couple of buddies of mine… They shared their thoughts on spontaneous combustion and enigmatic vortexes for all eternity when… [Final Stop] [Final Shout Chorus] BLAMMO! PATIENCE GUN TO THE HEAD! FUCKS!!!
