Sausage Roll Psychosis

UK underground hip hop, boom bap, lo-fi hip hop (jazzy), satirical British rap

[Intro]
(Coughing)
(Lighter flick)
Right... where’s the bloody remote? 
Under the pizza box? Nah. 
Is it Tuesday? Feels like a Thursday. 
Whatever. Roll the track.

[Verse One]
Woke up at half past four in a cloud of my own regrets
Counting out copper coins for a pack of those cheap cigarettes
The carpet’s growing hair and the cat is looking at me weird
I haven't seen my chin since twenty-twenty-two beneath this beard
Stumbled to the kitchen for a glass of something wet and cold
Found a carton in the fridge that’s three weeks deep in green and gold
That’s not mold, mate, that’s a science project gaining self-awareness
The state of this apartment really challenges my mental fairness
I’m wearing one odd sock and a dressing gown from primary school
Trying to look like I’m the man but feeling like a proper fool.

[Chorus]
I’m three point five grams deep into a crisis of the soul
Searching for a lighter in a dark and dusty hole
The Greggs lady knows my name and she knows my order too
One vegan roll and a look of pity as I’m passing through
Yeah, the room is spinning round like a record on the deck
I’ve got crumbs on my jumper and a pain in my bloody neck.

[Verse Two]
Decided to go outside, big mistake, the sun’s a bit too bright
I look like a startled owl caught in a heavy set of high beams light
Popped into the corner shop to buy a pack of Skittles and some juice
But the bloke behind the counter thinks I’ve let a mental chicken loose
I forgot my bloody PIN, stood there staring at the keypad
Four digits long but I’m struggling like a failing dad
Is it one two three four? No, that’s what a copper would pick
My brain is running slower than a donkey that is feeling sick
Walked out with a cabbage and a copy of the Daily Mail
At this point, life is just a very long and boring jail.

[Bridge]
(Don’t look at the sky, the sky is judging you)
(Why is that pigeon staring? He knows, doesn't he?)
(He knows you haven't washed your hair since the Jubilee)
(Paranoia, paranoia, everybody’s coming for ya)

[Verse Three]
Back on the sofa now, staring at a documentary on bees
Thinking 'bout the way they fly and how they land upon their knees
Do bees have knees? I should Google that, but I can’t find my phone
It’s probably in the freezer with the half-eaten Cornetto cone
I tried to write a poem but I only got as far as 'cat'
Then I spent an hour wondering why the world is mostly flat
It isn't flat, I know that, but the floor is looking quite inviting
If I fall asleep right here, tell the world it was exciting
Pass the Rizla, mate, I think I’m seeing ghosts in the TV
Either that or it’s a repeat of a sitcom from the BBC.

[Outro]
(Slower, fading out)
Wait... did I leave the oven on?
Nah, I don't even have an oven. 
It’s a microwave. 
And it’s broken. 
Goodnight, London. 
You’re looking... very blurry tonight.
(Static crackle)
(Heavy exhaling)

3219/7500

[Intro] (Coughing) (Lighter flick) Right... where’s the bloody remote? Under the pizza box? Nah. Is it Tuesday? Feels like a Thursday. Whatever. Roll the track. [Verse One] Woke up at half past four in a cloud of my own regrets Counting out copper coins for a pack of those cheap cigarettes The carpet’s growing hair and the cat is looking at me weird I haven't seen my chin since twenty-twenty-two beneath this beard Stumbled to the kitchen for a glass of something wet and cold Found a carton in the fridge that’s three weeks deep in green and gold That’s not mold, mate, that’s a science project gaining self-awareness The state of this apartment really challenges my mental fairness I’m wearing one odd sock and a dressing gown from primary school Trying to look like I’m the man but feeling like a proper fool. [Chorus] I’m three point five grams deep into a crisis of the soul Searching for a lighter in a dark and dusty hole The Greggs lady knows my name and she knows my order too One vegan roll and a look of pity as I’m passing through Yeah, the room is spinning round like a record on the deck I’ve got crumbs on my jumper and a pain in my bloody neck. [Verse Two] Decided to go outside, big mistake, the sun’s a bit too bright I look like a startled owl caught in a heavy set of high beams light Popped into the corner shop to buy a pack of Skittles and some juice But the bloke behind the counter thinks I’ve let a mental chicken loose I forgot my bloody PIN, stood there staring at the keypad Four digits long but I’m struggling like a failing dad Is it one two three four? No, that’s what a copper would pick My brain is running slower than a donkey that is feeling sick Walked out with a cabbage and a copy of the Daily Mail At this point, life is just a very long and boring jail. [Bridge] (Don’t look at the sky, the sky is judging you) (Why is that pigeon staring? He knows, doesn't he?) (He knows you haven't washed your hair since the Jubilee) (Paranoia, paranoia, everybody’s coming for ya) [Verse Three] Back on the sofa now, staring at a documentary on bees Thinking 'bout the way they fly and how they land upon their knees Do bees have knees? I should Google that, but I can’t find my phone It’s probably in the freezer with the half-eaten Cornetto cone I tried to write a poem but I only got as far as 'cat' Then I spent an hour wondering why the world is mostly flat It isn't flat, I know that, but the floor is looking quite inviting If I fall asleep right here, tell the world it was exciting Pass the Rizla, mate, I think I’m seeing ghosts in the TV Either that or it’s a repeat of a sitcom from the BBC. [Chorus] I’m three point five grams deep into a crisis of the soul Searching for a lighter in a dark and dusty hole The Greggs lady knows my name and she knows my order too One vegan roll and a look of pity as I’m passing through Yeah, the room is spinning round like a record on the deck I’ve got crumbs on my jumper and a pain in my bloody neck. [Outro] (Slower, fading out) Wait... did I leave the oven on? Nah, I don't even have an oven. It’s a microwave. And it’s broken. Goodnight, London. You’re looking... very blurry tonight. (Static crackle) (Heavy exhaling)

0/500