round and round

[INTRO — ONE WARM SAMPLE LOOP, SOFT PIANO] Round and round. Round and round. Phoebe wanted to go West. I said no. [VERSE 1 — SPOKEN, LOOSE AND DRIFTING] She was still mad at me. Wouldn't talk. Just walked ahead with that suitcase, Like she was going somewhere without me. I kept trying to explain. I kept explaining the same thing. You can't come with me. You can't come with me. You can't come with me. Which was funny, Because I didn't even know where I was going. [LOOP — SAMPLE BREATHES] Round and round. Round and round. Same old horse. Same old town. [VERSE 2 — GROOVE SETTLES IN] We got to the park. There was a carousel. She looked at it. I looked at her. She wanted to ride. I said, “Go ahead.” Like I was some kind of grown-up Who knew what he was doing. She got on. The music started. And the horses went around. I stood there watching. I didn't tell her to be careful. I didn't tell her not to fall. I didn't try to catch her. [REFRAIN — HYPNOTIC, REPETITIVE] Round and round, She goes around. Round and round, Feet off the ground. Round and round, I stay right here. Round and round, The world's still here. [VERSE 3 — FEVERISH SPOKEN WORD, JAZZ INTERPLAY] I used to think everything was going away. Maybe it was. Maybe it is. People grow up. People change. People leave. People get sick. People die. And I kept thinking, If I could just get far enough away, I wouldn't have to watch. If I could get far enough away, Nothing could touch me. If I could get far enough away, I could finally be alone. Which is a hell of a thing to want When you're lonely all the time. [LOOP — SAMPLE REPEATS, BASS CIRCLES] Round and round. Round and round. What goes around Comes around. [VERSE 4 — INTENSIFYING, WORDS UNRAVEL] I kept making plans. Cabin in the woods. Gas station. Deaf and dumb. No talking. No phonies. No people. I kept winding myself up Like a ball of yarn. Every time I said I hated somebody, There was another thread. Every time I said I didn't care, Another thread. Every time I said I was leaving, Another thread. And I kept pulling. And pulling. And pulling. Till there wasn't much left But the same lousy knot. [BRIDGE — DRUMS DROP, MUTED TRUMPET] Maybe I don't hate everybody. Maybe I hate how much I need them. Maybe I don't want to be alone. Maybe I just don't know how to be with people. Maybe I keep running away Before anybody gets the chance To leave me. [REFRAIN — FULLER, WARMER] Round and round, She goes around. Round and round, Feet off the ground. Round and round, I stay right here. Round and round, The world's still here. [VERSE 5 — QUIETER, CLEAR-EYED] The horses went up. The horses went down. Phoebe went around and around. She reached for the brass ring. Missed it. Went around again. I wanted her to get it. I wanted her to catch it. I wanted her to have the whole thing. Then I thought— What if she doesn't? What if she just rides? What if she gets to be a kid Without me standing there Telling her where the edge is? [FINAL REFRAIN — SAMPLE AND VOICE, TENDER] Round and round, Let her go round. Round and round, Don't pull her down. Round and round, She'll find her way. Round and round, I'll be here today. [OUTRO — SAMPLE SOFTENS, LONG PAUSES] I knew I had to get better. I didn't know how. I still don't. But I couldn't keep doing this By myself. For Phoebe, if not for me. I took her home. I took myself home. Round and round. And this time, I stayed.