**[Intro: Beat drops with cartoonish splat sounds and kazoo riff]** Yo. Check one-two. Yeah. Uh-huh. Listen up. **[Verse 1]** Honey, we got a problem—ain't no minor hiccup, see? Caught you eyeballin' my cereal stash like it's VIP. You ate my *Lucky Charms*! Left the marshmallows? Zero! Replaced 'em with bran flakes? That's a certified HERO move? Nah! Now my breakfast bowl's lookin' like a sad graveyard scene, While you're crunchin' rainbows smilin', drippin' dairy supreme. Relationship therapist? Naw, call the cereal police! Evidence: your spoon's got glitter—guilty as a fleece! **[Verse 2]** Honey, we got a problem—your GPS is whack, see? Took us on a "scenic route" through twelve states accidentally. Thought Vermont was Vegas? Ma'am, that ain't neon, that's trees! Now we're lost near Canada singin' "O Canada, please!" Sippin' maple syrup straight from the tap like survivors, While moose judge our life choices from the roadside diners. Google Maps cried "UNSUBSCRIBE!"—your phone threw a tantrum! We're livin' in a rom-com written by a random hamster! **[Verse 3]** Honey, we got a problem—your plant obsession's peakin'! Turned our studio apartment into Jurassic Park: Leakin'! Fern named Steve stole my couch! Philodendron took the sink! I shower at the laundromat—ain't even blinkin'! Found a Venus flytrap wearin' my favorite socks! You whisper "*Good photosynthesis*" to the broccoli stalks! Our landlord texted: "IS THAT JUNGLE TAX-DEDUCTIBLE?" I'm stranded on the fridge eatin' Pop-Tarts... edible rubble! **[Outro: Beat fades with kazoo wheeze and a distant "HONEY, FIX THIS!"]** Yeah... we got a situation. Pass the syrup. ...And maybe a machete. Word up. *(Mic drop thud)*
