My Final Fantasy

I said I was done I said it was over Just a world I outgrew Just a habit gone colder Then the ice lit up And something in me moved Like a bell under snow Like a vow coming through I lived in your cities Till they lived in me Gave whole years of my life To your night and your grief I wore down my hands On your names and your wars Found more of myself In your ruins than yours Not a pastime Not a phase Not a thing I touched And walked away You got under my skin In the oldest way Like prayer with a heartbeat Like a place that stayed And maybe that’s why It hurt like it did Only gods and homes Can fail you like this You’re still my Final Fantasy The wound and the wonder in me The world I ran to The world that wrecked me The dream that still knows my name You’re still my Final Fantasy Even when your fire went thin on me Now the cold horizon Feels like resurrection And I’m burning again Then came the trail of dawn All gloss, no bloom Pretty in the daylight But dead in the room And I watched good faith Turn thin in the chest Watched people I trusted Stop giving their best I tried to walk off Tried to call it done Tried to say maybe The spell had gone But loss only cuts Where love was real You don’t grieve a world That you didn’t feel And maybe that’s why The silence got loud When a second home Couldn’t hold itself up You’re still my Final Fantasy The wound and the wonder in me The world I ran to The world that wrecked me The dream that still knows my name You’re still my Final Fantasy Even when your fire went thin on me Now the cold horizon Feels like resurrection And I’m burning again Evercold Under the ice I heard the pulse I felt it rise Shattered sky Frozen breath Something old Woke from death Not because I forgot What let me down But because the fire Came back around And I know that sound I know that flame When a dead thing stirs And calls your name I was gone Still yours Half ash Still warm Icebound Heart loud Dead world Speak now You’re still my Final Fantasy The ache and the second life in me The road I stayed on The place I broke on The one that still feels like home You’re still my Final Fantasy Even when I thought you were done with me Now the cold horizon Feels like a promise And I’m not letting go You’re still my Final Fantasy The wound and the wonder in me The world I ran to The world that wrecked me The dream that still knows my name I said I was done But the bell came through Under all that ice I still heard you Thank you, Yoshida-san