(Alright folks, lot ninety-two, ceramic rooster, who will give me five, now ten, ten, now twenty-five!) (Twenty-five to the lady in the boots! Now thirty, forty, fifty, fifty-five!) (Wait, I didn't bid, I just sneezed! Put the paddle down!) (Seventy-five, eighty, one hundred dollars, going once!) I was standing on the stage in the sawdust ring Selling every kind of antique country thing Had a heavy skillet and a copper churn Waiting for the folks in the crowd to learn I held up a rooster made of painted clay Said it came from Georgia back in grandma day The lady in the front took a little breath Waved her wooden paddle like a matter of death (I was waving off a horsefly buzzing by my nose) (I don't want that ugly rooster on my mantel clothes!) (Too late, darling, you're the leading bid!) (Cancel out the ticket, I got bills to pay, kid!) The numbers are climbing higher than the pine tree crest Nobody in this barn is getting any rest Sold out, going for a hundred and ten (Hundred and ten) Waving with the paddle in the barn again (In the barn again) Sold out, going once, going twice (Going twice) Paying way too much for a rooster price (Rooster price) Hit the wooden gavel, let the hammer fall (Let it fall) The craziest transaction in the county hall (County hall) Two hundred dollars from the man in the cap Three hundred dollars from a sudden handclap I started bidding on myself in the heat of the game Calling out the numbers till I forgot my name (You are bidding on yourself, put the hammer down!) (You're the biggest fast-talking fool in town!) (Four hundred fifty, can I get five hundred flat?!) (I'M LEAVING THIS BARN AND TAKING MY HAT!) (SOLD for five hundred to the lady walking out the door!) (I AM NOT PAYING FOR THAT CHICKEN!) Sold out, going for a hundred and ten (Hundred and ten) Waving with the paddle in the barn again (In the barn again) Sold out, going once, going twice (Going twice) Paying way too much for a rooster price (Rooster price) Hit the wooden gavel, let the hammer fall (Let it fall) The craziest transaction in the county hall (County hall) (Look, I'll give you seven dollars and a bag of dried plums) (Deal. Take the bird before the sheriff comes) (No refunds at the auction.) Sold out, going for a hundred and ten (Hundred and ten) Waving with the paddle in the barn again (In the barn again) Sold out, going once, going twice (Going twice) Paying way too much for a rooster price (Rooster price) Hit the wooden gavel, let the hammer fall (Let it fall) The craziest transaction in the county hall (County hall) Walked out to the truck with the painted bird The most expensive sneeze that the county ever heard (Seven dollars well spent) (Auction is closed!) (Sold out, yeah) (Pack the truck)
