I've never been to Turkey (Alice Ceylan Cover)

[Lyrics by Karl Layton] [Speaking] Well, this song is a bit funny for me. [verse] Well, I've never been to Turkey, Never did anything murky Never rode a horse in Milwaukee, But a chick told me I talk malarkey. [female choir] Oh she usually talks malarkey. About her is nothing sparky. Her whole demeanor is snarky. But I really like her friend Lacy. [scat] [instrument solo] [verse] What? Ah never mind. So I never smoked ham in Chicago. Who would anyway. Never peed in Mar al Largo. But on the dance floor there I once did sway. [female choir] Oh she usually talks malarkey. Don't believe her when she says she can dance. This gal's just unworthy. But this friend Lacy, she can dance like in a trance. [verse] What the .... come on. So where was I? I never rode a camel in ... somewhere I never dated a non in ... elsewhere Never sung a song but right here Now the choir leaves... Lacy brought them beer. [female choir] Oh she usually talks malarkey. But we really like Lacy mucho mas, wirklich sehr. She has curly hair and her fat purse is perky. So we leave this singer who is surely queer. [instrument solo] [scat] [female talking] Enough. I'm outta here.