[verse] I’m not into camels or giraffes (what?) Not into PhDs who make you laugh I’m done with the doctors, the lawyers, the poets If a man has a "soul," I don't want to know it [break] [chorus] I don’t want a partner I don’t want a spouse I want a frat boy who can’t find his way out of the house (yeah yeah) I want the trial-and-error I want the amateur hour I want the unbridled use of their hydraulic power (haha) [verse] They smell like jerking off and desperation (no) I’m providing a service It’s an education [break] [chorus] I don’t want a diamond that lasts for "forever" I want a biodegradable, brief endeavor I’m a Venture Capitalist of the flesh Feeling it up while the inventory is frrrresh [break] [chorus] Don’t give me "romance" or a glass of Merlot Give me a nineteen-year-old with nowhere to go I don’t want a man who knows where the clitoris is I want a boy who panics when I make him … jeeez [PATTER] Bring me the Fresh Meat The barely legal treats The ones who still use skateboards on the city streets I want the peach fuzz The acne The dorm-room sweat The kind of stamina that hasn't learned to fail me yet [break] It’s a revolving door of the Sophomore Class A parade of tight denim and a pinch on the ass Me no need conversation or intellectual wit I wish a nineteen-year-old who is physically fit [chorus] I’ve got a pantry full of boys who haven't started to shave I’ve go to every hazing and a dorm room frantic rave Why settle for a steak that is tough and dry and old? When the veal is so tender, and does what it is told? [chorus] So keep your lawyers and your CEOs Keep your men who can’t touch their own toes I want the stiff I want the scared I want the boy who is unprepared [coda] I’m not into camels or giraffes Gimme a nineteen-year-old.... and that's.. that's just.. perfectly.. enough! yeah!
