The Running of the Chores

[Intro: solo acoustic guitar, no drums] [Spoken, gravelly, close-mic] Saturday. Eight forty-five. Let’s go. [Verse 1: conversational, low energy, acoustic and light brush kit] List on the counter in my wife’s handwriting Seventeen items and a couple I can’t read She said honey I can do it, you don’t gotta go out I said baby, no — this one’s for me Had to fight her for the privilege Kissed her on the forehead, grabbed the keys Backed out the driveway off of M-24 With a whole day standing in front of me [Pre-Chorus: build, kick enters] Now I ain’t scared of a little work But I know what’s waiting through them double doors [Chorus: belted, full band, single lead, light vocal double] It’s the running of the chores, boys The running of the chores Cart out, head down, barrelin’ through them double doors Lord I ain’t no matador I’m just a man in cargo shorts Run or get trampled — it’s the running of the chores [Verse 2: energy up, dobro fills] Costco on a Saturday, they come at you in herds Cart clipped my ankle and I bit down on a word Pallet in the middle of the aisle where the paper towels should be Sample lady got a lane closed down to one And the man in front of me can’t find his membership He is looking through a wallet the size of Michigan Fourteen registers, they opened up a two Bull’s got horns, boy, and he’s coming right at you [Pre-Chorus] So I take a breath and grip the handle ‘Cause you can’t go back, you can only go through [Chorus: belted, full band] It’s the running of the chores, boys The running of the chores Cart out, head down, barrelin’ through them double doors Lord I ain’t no matador I’m just a man in cargo shorts Run or get trampled — it’s the running of the chores [Verse 3: pull back, acoustic and B3 only, warm and wistful] Rolled one in the parking lot, Michigan says that’s fine Twenty minutes of my own before I get back in line Hot dog at the Home Depot, bag of chips, a pop Sittin’ on the tailgate, first time all day I stopped Somewhere there’s a fairway and three buddies I ain’t seen Sun coming up on the ninth hole of a life I might have been Bald Mountain’s still standing, lake’s still on the shore Threw the wrapper in the barrel — got a couple more chores [Bridge: full band swell, lead vocal soaring, fiddle and B3 forward, no gang vocals yet] [Energy: rising] There’s a flag up on the pole at the corner of the lot Snapping in the wind over everything I got Ain’t a medal, ain’t a headline, ain’t a battle, ain’t a war Just a free man on a Saturday, running of the chores Somebody paid for this — the lawn, the truck, the store The dumbest, sweetest freedom: I get to do my chores [Final Chorus: gang vocals enter full, crowd singalong, handclaps, maximum energy] [Energy: Peak] It’s the running of the chores, boys The running of the chores Grass cut, cars washed, one more swing by one more store No, I ain’t no matador I’m just a man in cargo shorts Run or get trampled — it’s the running of the chores [Outro: gang vocals sustain, band drops to acoustic and stomp] Run or get trampled Run or get trampled Sun’s going down and there’s a light on at the door Pull in the driveway, kick my boots off on the floor [Spoken, gravelly, exhaling] See y’all next Saturday.