Home by Christmas (If Nothing Explodes)

[INTRO – cheerful bustle] [festive brass] Ba-da-da-dum! Suitcases wobbling, tickets nearly flying— [VERSE 1] [jaunty strings] Got a bus to catch at half-past late, but the snow said “NOPE” and blocked the gate. [background voices] Oh dear— Tried a taxi, tried a sleigh, even begged a reindeer— they all said the same: “Try again next year!” [CHORUS] [big Danny-Kaye sparkle] But I’m jinglin’, wranglin’, travelin’ on through, with a peppermint map and one soggy shoe. If the trains go left, then I’ll go right— ’cause Christmas needs me home tonight! [VERSE 2] [playful woodwinds] Airport line was a mile too long, someone’s fruitcake set off the alarm. [voices laughing] Ha-ha! Lost my gloves, lost my hat, found a goose in my seat— it honked a carol in perfect beat! [BRIDGE – comedic panic] [orchestra swirling] Snowstorms spinning, schedules thinning, I’m twirling through terminals, slipping and grinning. [fast-talking mutterings] Gate twelve? Gate four? Why’s my suitcase on the second floor?! [CHORUS – reprise, bigger] [friendly chorus] But I’m jinglin’, wranglin’, travelin’ on through, with a candy-cane compass and coffee number two. If the roads all freeze and the skies all fog— I’ll hitch a ride with Santa’s dog! [FINAL OUTRO – warm & glowing] [strings soften, hearth-warm] And just when hope was nearly gone, I heard my family cheer me on. [soft chorus] Come home— One final step, and there they stood, friends and love where Christmas always should.