⦾ . Calder’s Deepest Level by Midas

[Intro] [Music: The Lute plays a fast, spiraling, hypnotic riff. It loops. Beatbox enters: Bmph-Ka-Tsh-Bmph. Chains rattle on the snare hits.] [D. Calder - Spoken, Deep & Echoing] Welcome to the sub-basement... Level 9. Don't look at the dragon. I ate his mother. Hit me. [Verse 1] [Style: Staccato Funk Flow] I’m D. Calder, the Duke of the Down-Below, I built this pit for the freak-show flow. I dined on Naga sushi and Dragon steak, I caused the tectonic plates to shake! You think you’re gourmet? You think you’re fine? I made a Paella out of a Mind Flayer’s spine! Squid-face rice with a side of dread, I conquered the witch in her floating bed! [Chorus - ANTHEM] [Music: EXPLOSION. The Lute Riff gets louder and distorted. Brass stabs.] [Calder & Monks] GO DEEPER! (Level Down!) IN THE COLOSSEUM OF THE CROWN! MY EGO IS GOLD, MY SOUL IS BLACK! THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE COMING BACK! CALDER! (He buried the clippers!) CALDER! (He wears the slippers!) OF DOOM! [Verse 2] [Style: Theatrical, almost spoken word] I built a tomb like a Pharaoh’s dream, Filled with traps and a laser beam (Medieval style!). Gold on the ceiling, gold on the floor, I buried my manicurist behind the door! Why? Because I can! Because I am the Lord! I buried my nail clippers with a magic sword! Alive! Screaming! Just in case! I need a trim in the afterlife space! [Lute & Beatbox Solo] [Music: The Lute goes absolutely insane, playing a shredding solo while a Beatboxer spits heavy bass rhythms. It’s hypnotic and weird.] [Bridge] [Music: Music stops. Just the clinking of a fork on a plate.] [Calder - Whispering] Mmm... Azutamentes. Tastes like... purple. Bring me the desert witch. And the bill. [Outro] [Music: The Lute riff slows down, de-tuning.] [Calder] I am D. Calder. And you... are just an appetizer. Ha. Ha. Ha. [Sound: A heavy stone door slamming shut.]