I practice conversations on the drive Red lights hear me getting it just right I say the jokes, I say the lines Even work out when to smile By the time I pull up, I’m feeling brave Got it memorized, word for word, every page But when I walk in and they say my name It all slips away My heart starts racing, room gets loud Everybody’s talking but I’m shutting down I had it ready just a second ago Now I don’t know I practice conversations in my head Say it perfect, then I freeze instead I got a million things I meant to say But they never come out that way I look calm, but I’m barely holding on I laugh it off, play like nothing’s wrong I practice conversations But I go quiet when it’s time to be me I nod along like I’m doing fine Count the seconds ‘til it’s my reply Wonder if they notice I’m a step behind Or if it’s all just in my mind I finally speak, it comes out wrong Too fast, too short, then the moment’s gone Now I’m replaying it all night long What I said, what I should’ve done Every word echoes after the fact Did I sound stupid, did I talk too much back? They moved on, but I’m still stuck In my own head, overthinking stuff I practice conversations in my head Say it perfect, then I freeze instead I got a million things I meant to say But they never come out that way I look calm, but I’m barely holding on I laugh it off, play like nothing’s wrong I practice conversations But I go quiet when it’s time to be me It’s not that I don’t wanna be close It’s not that I don’t feel at home I just build it up ‘til I can’t breathe Then I disappear quietly I swear I’m trying, I swear I care I just get lost when I’m standing there I practice conversations in my head Hope someday I’ll say them instead Maybe I don’t need the perfect line Maybe I’m okay taking my time I look calm, but I’m learning how To let a little truth fall out I practice conversations Maybe one day I won’t run when it’s time to be me I practice conversations on the drive Maybe next time… I’ll say it in real life
