Song Cover Image

Calamari Calamity

The Jester

SQUID SQUID SQUID SQUID SQUID SQUID SQUID SQUID SQUID

By

The Jester

Breakcore, Fabloo, vaporwave, synthwave, wave, reverb, punk, stoned, aesthetic, Surreal, funk, jazz, electro swing, punk, house, lo-fi chill, absurd, Amen Break, touhou, edm, rapid

(The problem is no longer something I can hold back.)

[Intro]
Welcome to the end of the pier,
Where the sky grows dark, and the air smells... weird.
Something's slinking up from the deep,
It's got tentacles and a beak, and it’s not here to sleep.

[Chanting]
Squid Squid! 
Squid Squid!

[Verse 1]
Oh, it came from the ocean, a titan of slime,
A wriggling deity beyond space and time.
The people all screamed as it crawled to the shore,
Leaving chaos and ink on the city it tore.

Its eyes like saucers, glowing and red,
One glance and you’re wishing you’d stayed in bed.
A squid god’s gospel was spread in the streets,
With swarms of its spawn and a funky drum beat.

[Chanting]
Squid Squid! 
Squid Squid!

[Chorus]
It’s a calamari calamity,
A tentacled catastrophe,
The skies are raining squids tonight,
We’re doomed but it’s alright!
It’s a calamari calamity,
An ink-stained monstrosity,
They’ll fry your mind and steal your soul,
But at least they’re in control!

[Chanting]
Squid Squid! 
Squid Squid!

[Verse 2]
A lady in pearls grabbed her harpoon gun,
But the squid god laughed—“Nice try, little one!”
It juggled her boat like a toy in the breeze,
Then unleashed its babies to swarm like bees.

The mayor declared, "We must make a stand!"
But a squid-baby army consumed his band.
While panic erupted, some folks joined the cause,
Worshipping squid-god’s unholy laws.

[Chanting]
Squid Squid! 
Squid Squid!

[Bridge]
Ink’s in the gutters, it’s pooling in streams,
The city’s now glowing in phosphorous beams.
A cult is assembling, they chant and they cheer,
For the squid overlord who’s commandeered the pier.

[Chanting]
Squid Squid! 
Squid Squid!

[Spoken interlude]
“BREAKING NEWS: The local seafood festival is canceled.
Oh wait—no it’s not! It’s everywhere, folks!”
“Citizens report: Flying squid babies stealing bicycles, pets, and the mayor’s hat.”
“Is this the end? Or the tastiest apocalypse yet?”

[Chanting]
Squid Squid! 
Squid Squid!

[Chorus]
It’s a calamari calamity,
A tentacled atrocity,
The squid kids laugh as they set us alight,
We’re doomed but it’s alright!
It’s a calamari calamity,
An intertidal heresy,
Our town’s gone wild, we’ve lost control,
But surrender’s kinda... cool?

[Chanting]
Squid Squid! 
Squid Squid!

[Outro]
Now the city sleeps beneath the sea,
Ruled by squids and their deity.
If you hear the waves and feel a breeze,
Just pray to the squid and drop to your knees.

[Chanting]
Squid Squid! 
Squid Squid!

Calamari… calamity… calamari… calamity…
Squid squad forever.

2513/7500

(The problem is no longer something I can hold back.) [Intro] Welcome to the end of the pier, Where the sky grows dark, and the air smells... weird. Something's slinking up from the deep, It's got tentacles and a beak, and it’s not here to sleep. [Chanting] Squid Squid! Squid Squid! [Verse 1] Oh, it came from the ocean, a titan of slime, A wriggling deity beyond space and time. The people all screamed as it crawled to the shore, Leaving chaos and ink on the city it tore. Its eyes like saucers, glowing and red, One glance and you’re wishing you’d stayed in bed. A squid god’s gospel was spread in the streets, With swarms of its spawn and a funky drum beat. [Chanting] Squid Squid! Squid Squid! [Chorus] It’s a calamari calamity, A tentacled catastrophe, The skies are raining squids tonight, We’re doomed but it’s alright! It’s a calamari calamity, An ink-stained monstrosity, They’ll fry your mind and steal your soul, But at least they’re in control! [Chanting] Squid Squid! Squid Squid! [Verse 2] A lady in pearls grabbed her harpoon gun, But the squid god laughed—“Nice try, little one!” It juggled her boat like a toy in the breeze, Then unleashed its babies to swarm like bees. The mayor declared, "We must make a stand!" But a squid-baby army consumed his band. While panic erupted, some folks joined the cause, Worshipping squid-god’s unholy laws. [Chanting] Squid Squid! Squid Squid! [Bridge] Ink’s in the gutters, it’s pooling in streams, The city’s now glowing in phosphorous beams. A cult is assembling, they chant and they cheer, For the squid overlord who’s commandeered the pier. [Chanting] Squid Squid! Squid Squid! [Spoken interlude] “BREAKING NEWS: The local seafood festival is canceled. Oh wait—no it’s not! It’s everywhere, folks!” “Citizens report: Flying squid babies stealing bicycles, pets, and the mayor’s hat.” “Is this the end? Or the tastiest apocalypse yet?” [Chanting] Squid Squid! Squid Squid! [Chorus] It’s a calamari calamity, A tentacled atrocity, The squid kids laugh as they set us alight, We’re doomed but it’s alright! It’s a calamari calamity, An intertidal heresy, Our town’s gone wild, we’ve lost control, But surrender’s kinda... cool? [Chanting] Squid Squid! Squid Squid! [Outro] Now the city sleeps beneath the sea, Ruled by squids and their deity. If you hear the waves and feel a breeze, Just pray to the squid and drop to your knees. [Chanting] Squid Squid! Squid Squid! Calamari… calamity… calamari… calamity… Squid squad forever.