I Thought It Was a Fart, But...

[Intro: Lute and Bodhrán] [Announcer]Gather 'round, good folks, I’ve got a tale for y'all, Of Oleg the Goliath and his troublesome fart! [Verse 1] Oleg the Barbarian, mighty and tall, With a letter in hand, to the guard at the wall. To scare him off, he thought he’d be smart, But out came something more than a fart! [Chorus] I thought it was a fart, but it was more, A slimy brown thingy, what a nasty bore! We all stood back, jaws on the floor, Oh dear gods, what was that for? [Interlude: Lute Solo] [Verse 2] With a strain and a grunt, Oleg let it go, But instead of a fart, a surprise did show. The guard looked pale, and we did too, For out of Oleg’s pants, something sticky flew! [Pre-Chorus] We thought it was shit, but to our surprise, A puppeteer parasite met our eyes! [Chorus] I thought it was a fart, but it was more, A slimy brown thingy, what a nasty bore! We all stood back, jaws on the floor, Oh dear gods, what was that for? [Solo: Flute & Lute] [Verse 3] In a glass flask, we captured the beast, A wriggling parasite, to say the least. The guard was scared, we were in stitches, Oleg’s pants had brought a mess of riches! [Bridge: Humorous] Now in the tavern, we laugh and we jest, About Oleg’s bum and that unexpected guest. His trousers, a portal to another realm, A puppeteer parasite at the helm! [Break: Bodhrán and Lute] La-da-da-da-da-da, a tale so fine, Sing along, my friends, with your mug of wine! [Chorus] I thought it was a fart, but it was more, A slimy brown thingy, what a nasty bore! We all stood back, jaws on the floor, Oh dear gods, what was that for? [Outro: Lute and Bodhrán] So heed this tale, of Oleg’s bum so bold, A fart turned into a story to be told. In a flask now lives that parasite so weird, From Oleg’s pants, it was just too feared! [Fade-out] [End-song] [silence] [Fade out] [silence]