[short instrumental intro] [verse 1] Is your rattling weak, are your chains off beat? Do your footsteps fade when you cross the street? Don’t lose your edge, don’t scare alone The Polterguys will tune your moan [chorus 1] We’re the Polterguys! Rolling deep with our spooky supplies We tune your gloom, we service your scares Rattlin’ chains and floatin’ chairs We’re the Polterguys! If it goes bump, we optimize From basement moans to attic sighs We’re the Polterguys! [verse 2] Is your banshee voice starting to crack? Does your phantom knock lose its attack? Don’t fade away, don’t haunt in vain We’ll get the chill back in your chain [chorus 2] We’re the Polterguys! Crawling out with our toolkit vibes We fix your fright, we prime your doom And put the funk back in your gloom We’re the Polterguys! Haunt-techs of the spectral skies You want more boo? We specialize We’re the Polterguys! [bridge] We don’t bust, we don’t banish We just polish what you vanish We oil the chains, we prime the fright We get your haunting back tonight! [verse 3] Is your shadow dim, is your cold spot warm? Has your classic scare lost its form? Don’t worry friend, don’t lose your style We’ll supercharge your haunt awhile [chorus 3 – final] We’re the Polterguys! Your spooky pros in bold disguise We haunt with flair, we tweak your night And leave your spirits tuned just right We’re the Polterguys! We don’t scream—we harmonize You need more chill? Don’t theorize— Call the Polterguys! [outro] [spoken word, calm, even delivery] "Are you having trouble rattling chains at night? Is your banshee scream failing to fright? Has your haunting lost its scare appeal? Don’t let your fear factor fade away— Call the Polterguys today. Dial 6 6 6-13 13—spooky satisfaction guaranteed!" [fade out]
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