[Intro — clean guitar, slow, room to breathe] I was just talking. Describing my week. Normal conversation. And somewhere in the middle of a sentence I heard myself.Really heard myself....oh.[Verse 1 — soft, conversational, almost mundane] Get up, show up, hold it down Smile at the right moments Say the right things to the right faces Call it living Call it fine Call it what you have to To get through a TuesdayBeen doing it so long It doesn't even cost anything anymore That's the part I didn't notice When something stops costing you It's not because it got easierIt's because something went quiet That shouldn't be quiet[Verse 2 — slightly darker, the realisation creeping in] I described my week to someone Laid it out like furniture This happened Then this Then I did this Then I went homeAnd they looked at me With that particular look The one that means do you hear yourselfAnd I laughed The way you laugh When you're about to not laugh anymore[Pre-Chorus — slowing, the penny dropping] How long has it been like this I actually don't know When did the weight Start feeling like normal When did numb Start feeling like calmWhen did I stop Noticing That I stopped Noticing[Chorus — explosive, full release] And there it is Right there in plain sight Been sitting in the room The whole time And I decorated around it Called it character Called it depth Called it the price you pay For being the kind of person Who holds things togetherOh Oh There it is Oh[Verse 3 — raw, faster, tumbling out] Built myself a life that looks right from the outside Ticked the boxes in the right order Kept the receipts Showed my working Did everything you're supposed to do When you're supposed to do itAnd somewhere between The showing up And the holding down And the smiling at the right momentsI mislaid something Can't remember what Can't remember when Just know that something's Missing from the inventory And has been For a while[Pre-Chorus 2 — spoken, quiet devastation] I was just talking. Describing my week. And I heard myself say "Yeah I'm good, just tired" for the four hundredth time and something in me went —when did tired become the whole answer? When did tired stop being a symptom and become a personality?...oh.[Chorus][Bridge — stripped completely bare, one voice, one guitar] I don't want to describe my week anymore And have it sound like that I don't want the look From someone who heard me Before I heard myselfI want to be loud enough On the inside That the outside Doesn't come as a surpriseI want to know what's in the inventory I want to find what went missing I want to sit with it However long it takes However uncomfortable However —loud [Instrumental — jazz bass, breathing guitar, space][Final Chorus — huge, cathartic, full band] And there it is Right there in plain sight Been sitting in the room The whole time And I decorated around it Called it character Called it depth Called it the price you pay For being the kind of person Who holds things togetherBut I hear it now I hear it now Oh I hear it Now[Outro — single guitar, peaceful, resolved] I was just talking. Describing my week.Next time someone asks I'm going to tell them the true version.Even if it takes a minute. Even if it's loud. Even if it surprises me while I'm saying it.Especially then.
