[Intro - Spoken] Hi. You talk about someone just randomly, and then they come out of nowhere. Chicago Bob. Real or pope name? Leo. I'm sorry for the sacrilege. Leo. [Verse 1] Wait, you are operating on sleep the rest of the time? More bid. Not just a little. More. Fifty dollars. Going once. Going twice. Sold! To the hair with headphones! I just paid fifty VERY REAL, TOTALLY NOT MONOPOLY MONEY dollars on nothing. The random intern who has to watch all of our meeting recordings to make sure nothing weird happens better get paid really well. [Pre-Chorus] I'm still waiting for the humor. Has it happened yet? I can guess. THAT ISN'T FUNNY. My week has been weird. [Chorus] What if you had half context, half no context? Would it make more or less sense? That depends— would it be half context full or half context empty? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? An optometrist. I see. Then I have done my job. Whoa-oh-oh... Half context full, half context empty, I see, I see. [Verse 2] The news says there's a heat advisory. I don't know what that means. I know it's hot outside. The sun is out, and it looks hot outside. Well, Heat, I have some suggestions. I advise you to be less hot. [Spoken] Nice glasseses. I can't find more glassessessess. I have three. Three pairs or three lenses? A glasses and a half. The legs? Glassi. Glassi. Dang it. [Pre-Chorus] Me and Miles got the same wavelength. What waves are the same length? Microwaves of the same size? Microwave whirring sound. Microwaves are the best way to cook fish. [Chorus] What if you had half context, half no context? Would it make more or less sense? That depends— would it be half context full or half context empty? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? An optometrist. I see. Then I have done my job. Whoa-oh-oh... Half context full, half context empty, I see, I see. [Bridge - Dramatic] HOLY MUSTACHE BATMAN! I have no comment on that guy's mustache. WHY IS HIS MUSTACHE?! ARRGGHHH! HE LOOKS LIKE A CARTOON SUPERVILLAIN! How is his mustache? I'll do YOU one better. WHERE is his mustache? WHEN'S HIS MUSTACHE?! The 1920s. I would've said the 1870s. He created a time machine. [Instrumental Break] [Spoken] I'm the opposite of sleep deprived, which means I can't operate right. See. I got nine to ten hours of sleep, which is too much. Whomst has summoned the optometrist? [Final Verse] Fibergass? Bean farts? Fiber gas. The scariest type of fart. Guys. Gasseseseseseseseseses. Yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeessssssss? It'll blow us away. I'm ashamed of myself to go down this level. Fart jokes are perpetually funny. That's how you power a perpetual motion machine or whatever it's called. If you don't laugh at farts, your life has the same amount of farts, but less laughter. Am I wrong? Most profound thing said this year ever. [Final Chorus - Everyone] If you don't laugh at farts, your life has the same amount of farts, but less laughter. What if you had half context, half no context? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? An optometrist. I see. Then I have done my job. Half context full, half context empty. Same amount of farts, but less laughter. Same amount of farts, but less laughter. [Outro - Spoken] Best chat window of all time. Get out. ...Do it. I'll toot myself out. It's been farrr(t) too long.
