I stepped inside that plastic booth Just for a minute or two A portable toilet, painted blue With a little TV there in view It was hanging by the mirror With a remote beside the seat Now every time I close that door Another hour disappears There's a TV in the toilet Hanging crooked on the wall I came in for a minute Now I never leave at all Oh, that TV in the toilet Steals my daylight till it's gone Every time I reach the doorway There's one more show before I'm done My mother brought the toilet My father brought TV They put the two together And ruined the life of me He wired up the antenna She bolted down the seat Now I've got forty channels And everything I need There's a TV in the toilet Hanging crooked on the wall I came in for a minute Now I never leave at all Oh, that TV in the toilet Steals my daylight till it's gone Every time I reach the doorway There's one more show before I'm done Oh, mother, warn your children Before it is too late Don't put a television Beside a toilet seat You think you'll watch one program Then suddenly it's three And somewhere in that plastic box You'll lose your dignity My legs have both gone sleeping My coffee's cold as stone The batteries in the remote Are older than my bones But still that screen keeps glowing That pale electric blue And if they ever take it down I don't know what I'll do There's a TV in the toilet Hanging crooked on the wall I came in for a minute Now I never leave at all Oh, that TV in the toilet Owns my body, owns my soul Every time I try to leave it That damn screen won't let me go There's a TV in the toilet And everybody knows Once you sit down with the remote You may never make it home Just one more show... Just one more show... That damn TV... In that plastic toilet...
