[Intro] "Welcome to Ankh Morpork city! It's great to see new faces. Call me Dibbler, CMOT; come with me to see Ankh Morpork's famous places." [Verse 1] The tour starts at a dolla twenty five, And that's cutting me own throat. But I'm the best tour guide alive, So give me your coins and notes. We're starting at the river Ankh, With water muddy and dense, So thick you can walk bank to bank, But do so at your own expense. [Pre chorus] The Watch House is on your right, this is where officers solve crimes. They keep Ankh Morpork safe at night, under the command of Sam Vimes. [Chorus] Dibbler's Ankh Morpork tour, The best sightseeing trek on The Disc, It costs a dolla fifty to see more, But it's worth the financial risk. Ruled by Havelock Vetenari, Ankh Morpork is a delight, The Discworld's finest city, So let's continue seeing Her sights. [Verse 2] "This is the Unseen University, where students and wizards reside. The Unreal Estate is full of mysteries. But they don't let tourists inside." On your left is the Assassin's Guild, where younglings are trained to inhume. I knew that this place would thrill, But the tour must now resume. [Chorus] Dibbler's Ankh Morpork tour, The best sightseeing trek on The Disc, It costs a dolla fifty to see more, But it's worth the financial risk. Ruled by Havelock Vetenari, Ankh Morpork is a delight, The Discworld's finest city, So let's continue seeing Her sights. [Verse 3] On your right is the Temple of Small Gods, where people worship gods of lesser import. The temple is a little bit odd, and you might need an armed escort. Next is the Guild of Alchemists, Where they practice their explosive art. "Unfortunately, this place is definitely off limits for tourists because it often gets blown apart." [Chorus] Dibbler's Ankh Morpork tour, The best sightseeing trek on The Disc, It costs a dolla fifty to see more, But it's worth the financial risk. Ruled by Havelock Vetenari, Ankh Morpork is a delight, The Discworld's finest city, So let's continue seeing Her sights. [Bridge] This part of the city is called The Shades. You should stay away from this zone. You'll be stabbed with a wicked blade. If you walk its streets alone. Our last stop is the Mended Drum, The perfect place to drink tonight, The public are always welcome, But watch out for the bar fights. [Outro 1] Now you've seen a bit of the city, But Ankh Morpork has hidden gems, There's so much more of her to see, So share my tour details with your friends. [Outro 2] "Thanks for joining Dibbler's Ankh Morpork tour, I hope you folks had a lot of fun. The exit is through the souvenir store", and don't forget to buy a sausage in a bun.
