You're running, running, running, running. Stop. 2018 felt like ash in my mouth Everything collapsing, every road heading down Already divorced, saw my children once a month Tried not to break every time I heard their voices My father was the rock, then the rock was gone My mother fell apart and I had to stay strong Money ran dry, every card maxed out Buying food with fear, trying not to drown Then my health went bad, all the old pain back Like life found the wound and kept pressing on that Six months later cancer came again Same dark shadow standing at the door I was worn to the bone, no light in the room Getting used to the shape of the gloom And the darkness talked like it understood Like surrender could finally feel good But you feel tired, you feel weak All you want to do is sleep Darkness calls you from afar Whispers softly through the grief You did good, you did your best There's no shame in letting go Then it hits like thunder Crashing through the light A voice of love inside me Splits the darkened sky Life is holy, eternal light it is God-given it is His He alone can give and take That choice is not yours to make You feel tired, you feel weak But this is not the peace you seek I had a letter set to send, had the time and place exactly Even opened up the windows Thought I could leave here cleanly, neatly But no letter takes away the years My mother would have had to cry No note explains it to my children No plan makes this a softer goodbye Open windows spare the ones who'd be the ones to find me there Pain does not die when we surrender It only travels through the air That's when the light began to crack Not because I felt strong again Truth came in like holy thunder Your pain is real, but don't pass it on to them You feel tired, you feel weak All you want to do is sleep And the light can sound like mercy When your soul is one with deep But mercy never asks for death And love still calls you by your name Then it hits like thunder Crashing through the light A voice of love inside me Splits the darkened sky Life is holy, eternal light it is God-given it is His He alone can give and take That choice is not yours to make So if you're standing where I stood Please don't let the dark decide Wake somebody, call somebody Let another soul stand by your side Then it hits like thunder Crashing through the light A voice of love inside me Splits the darkened sky Life is holy, eternal light it is God-given it is His He alone can give and take That choice is not yours to make You are not alone. Stay. There is help.
