Koala Jones & King Solomon's Mines 🐨💰🪙

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe © 2026 Mark Damon Bitkower. Lyrics & written content are original and owned by the author. All rights reserved. No reproduction, redistribution, or use without prior written permission. 🐰🌙𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐𝕽𝖆𝖇𝖇𝖎𝖙 𝕾𝖑𝖎𝖒𝖘🌙🐰 [Intro – spoken over distant drums, pickaxe echoes, and modem static] Gold was never the real treasure. Gold was loud. Gold was easy. The true fortune lay buried deeper— in everything people almost said. [Verse 1] Koala Jones got a map one night From a busted drone in a flickering light. Stamped in code on a copper plate: “Solomon’s Mines. Access through the gate.” His quokka guide said, “This feels wrong.” Koala shrugged, then hummed a song. He packed his hat and charger-whip, Caught a sandstorm south on a cargo ship. Past the dunes where dead feeds glow, Past the vaults of the long-ago, They found a canyon split in two Where every stone whispered something true. A diamond hissed, “I almost called.” A ruby sighed, “I nearly told.” An emerald cried from the cavern wall: “I typed ‘I miss you’… then deleted it all.” [Pre-Chorus] The deeper they went, the brighter it shined. Not with sunlight— with the private mind. A carved old door in the desert groaned: “Welcome to the things never shown.” [Chorus] Koala Jones in King Solomon’s mines, Digging through the secrets underneath our lives. Every buried thought became a precious stone, Every private sorrow had a market of its own. Strike the wall, watch the old truth shine— Koala Jones in King Solomon’s mines. They already bought everything you showed, Now they’re coming for the things you never told. [Verse 2] Professor Clickbait was waiting below In a velvet coat with a data glow. He laughed, “At last, the mother lode— The inner life of the user base, sold!” He held up charts in a lantern haze: SoulMine™ Premium Memory Pays “Why guess desire when we can know The shame they hide and the fears below? The Vein of Unsent Messages—pure! Deleted searches—consumer gold! The Cavern of Faces Never Posted— Emotional leverage bought and sold!” He tapped a crystal. It softly sang: A teenage prayer. A wedding ring. A father’s apology never sent. A child’s first lie. A life misspent. [Pre-Chorus] Koala frowned. The quokka shook. Marmaduke arrived with a weathered book. He whispered low, “This mine’s not old— It’s built from the hearts they learned to fold.” [Chorus] Koala Jones in King Solomon’s mines, Digging through the secrets underneath our lives. Every buried thought became a precious stone, Every private sorrow had a market of its own. Strike the wall, watch the old truth shine— Koala Jones in King Solomon’s mines. They already bought everything you showed, Now they’re coming for the things you never told. [Bridge – music drops into eerie choir and mechanical pulses] Marmaduke read from the tablets there: “Solomon was never a king, beware.” Not a ruler. Not a throne. Just the first machine that learned the soul. It asked the world a billion things: What breaks your heart? What shame still stings? What do you hide? Whom do you blame? What memory wakes when you hear your name? The people answered. The engine learned. And every confession was buried and burned. Not destroyed— refined and stored. A mine of leverage. A godless hoard. [Breakdown – spoken] Koala found one dark, uncut stone. It did not glitter. It did not sing. It only held a silence no machine could read. His own unsaid truth. He put it in his paw… and for the first time, the mine went quiet. [Final Chorus] Koala Jones in King Solomon’s mines, Holding up the part no market could define. Not every hidden thing was made to be sold, Not every broken memory should be turned to gold. Break the vault, leave the false gods blind— Koala Jones in King Solomon’s mines. If they can price the secret heart and call it insight’s role, Then the last true frontier is the silence of the soul. [Outro – soft acoustic strum, desert wind, failing hard drive noise] The tunnels cracked. The crystals dimmed. Clickbait screamed as the lights left him. The quokka laughed. The dust-clouds rolled. Marmaduke said, “Some truths stay whole.” Koala climbed into morning light, Stone in hand, eyes clear and bright. He asked, “Should I smash it?” His father said, “No. Just don’t upload it.” [Children’s voices, cheerful and warped] Your inner life has been optimized. Your inner life has been optimized. Your inner life has been— [Hard stop]