Raise the Dead, Raise the Rum!

[INTRO – Creaking ship timbers, distant thunder, tolling bells, eerie music box] [Footsteps on a wooden dock] [Spoken – Cliff, gravelly and amused] "Deadman's Harbour, eh?" "Not a soul in sight..." [Pause, faint ghostly whisper] "Well, that's a fucking shame." [Ebony Grail erupts into a galloping pirate metal riff] [VERSE 1] I docked at Deadman's Harbour underneath a crooked moon, The tavern stood deserted till I struck up a tune. A skeleton in a tricorn rose and tipped his hat, His jaw fell in his tankard, so I handed it back! The barkeep was a ghost, been dead a hundred years, I said, "Pour another round! I've come to raise some spirits here!" The coffins started rattling, the graveyard found the beat, And a hundred bony bootheels came stomping down the street! [PRE-CHORUS – Spooky organ, rising fiddle, rattling chains] The lanterns swing! The church bells ring! I hit one chord and the dead start to sing! The graveyard's open, the night is young, SO CLEAR YOUR THROATS IF YOU'VE STILL GOT LUNGS! [CHORUS – Huge pirate gang vocals] RAISE THE DEAD! RAISE THE RUM! RATTLE YOUR BONES TILL THE MORNING COMES! LET THE BANSHEES WAIL AND THE CHURCH BELLS RING! I'VE GOT SIX STEEL STRINGS AND THE DEAD CAN SING! HEY! HEY! LET THE BLACK SAILS FLY! PUMPKINS ARE GRINNING AT A PURPLE SKY! WHEN DEATH COMES KNOCKING, DON'T RUN OR HIDE, POUR HIM SOME RUM! THERE'S ROOM INSIDE! [POST-CHORUS – Rowdy pirate chant] YO HO HO! THE DEAD DON'T SLEEP! YO HO HO! FROM THE BRINY DEEP! YO HO HO! LET THE GRAVE BELLS TOLL! ONE MORE ROUND FOR EVERY SOUL! [VERSE 2 – Bouncing folk-metal rhythm, playful fiddle] Our rogue grabbed a treasure chest, it bit him on the arse! The wizard laughed and shouted, "WHAT A BLOODY FARCE! Our cleric cried, "TURN UNDEAD!" and raised his holy hand, They spun around in circles and joined the bloody band! A banshee took the high notes, a ghoul played double bass, A vampire found the garlic and vanished from the place! A lich demanded silence, "YOU'LL WAKE THE DEAD BELOW!" I grinned and struck a power chord, "THAT'S THE BLOODY SHOW!" [CHORUS – Full gang vocals] RAISE THE DEAD! RAISE THE RUM! RATTLE YOUR BONES TILL THE MORNING COMES! LET THE BANSHEES WAIL AND THE CHURCH BELLS RING! I'VE GOT SIX STEEL STRINGS AND THE DEAD CAN SING! HEY! HEY! LET THE BLACK SAILS FLY! PUMPKINS ARE GRINNING AT A PURPLE SKY! WHEN DEATH COMES KNOCKING, DON'T RUN OR HIDE, POUR HIM SOME RUM! THERE'S ROOM INSIDE! [BRIDGE – Sudden silence, ominous pipe organ, slow footsteps] [Three heavy knocks at the tavern door] [Spoken – Cliff] "Well, who the fuck's that at this hour?" [Door creaks open, icy wind howls] [Deep, ominous breathless voice] "Your time has come..." [Cliff, unimpressed] "Lovely! You're just in time for a drink!" [Building drums] He raised his scythe, the whole room froze, I shoved a tankard beneath his nose! "You here for souls, or here for rum?" He took one sip... "I'M HERE FOR THE FUN!" [INSTRUMENTAL SOLO – Explosive melodic guitar shredding, wild fiddle duel, screaming pinch harmonics, spooky theremin and thunder] [FINAL CHORUS – Double-time, huge crowd singalong] RAISE THE DEAD! RAISE THE RUM! RATTLE YOUR BONES TILL THE MORNING COMES! LET THE BANSHEES WAIL AND THE CHURCH BELLS RING! I'VE GOT SIX STEEL STRINGS AND THE DEAD CAN SING! HEY! HEY! LET THE BLACK SAILS FLY! PUMPKINS ARE GRINNING AT A PURPLE SKY! WHEN DEATH COMES KNOCKING, DON'T RUN OR HIDE, POUR HIM SOME RUM! THERE'S ROOM INSIDE! [OUTRO – Music stops, eerie music box returns] [Spoken – Cliff, tipsy and laughing] "Well, that's another bloody fine evening." [Pause] "Anyone seen the cleric?" [Distant voice] "HE'S STILL TURNING UNDEAD!" [Cliff bursts into laughter] [Final thunderous guitar chord, ghostly laughter fades]