Mistletoe

[Verse 1] It’s the company Christmas shindig, Decked the halls with overtime pay, Catered food, bad sweaters, And a bonus that’s still “on delay.” Now HR used to host this thing, But the stories got too tall ... So we “forgot” to send their invites, And nobody missed ‘em at all! [Chorus] Ol’ Arlo’s hangin’ by the mistletoe, Grinnin’ like a cat in the snow. Wouldn’t be a problem, no, If that dang sprig weren’t where folks go! Right in the doorway to the hall, By the bathrooms ... bless us all! He’s waitin’ patient, cool and slow, Ol’ Arlo’s hangin’ by the mistletoe! [Verse 2] The punch was spiked ... no one confessed, Though the boss looked mighty red, Accounting danced with Shipping, And I.T. lost its head. Arlo stayed right where he was, With that smile of Christmas cheer, Just biding time for someone’s trip Through that “danger zone” this year! [Chorus] Ol’ Arlo’s hangin’ by the mistletoe, Grinnin’ like a cat in the snow. Wouldn’t be a problem, no, If that dang sprig weren’t where folks go! Everyone’s laughin’, time to go, ‘Cept Arlo’s got that mistletoe glow, He’s hummin’ “Jingle Bell Rock” real low ... Ol’ Arlo’s hangin’ by the mistletoe! .. ........ [Bridge] Then here comes Patty from Payroll, Lookin’ for her purse and coat, She stops right there in the hallway, And Arlo clears his throat .. The crowd went quiet, just like church, As she turned and saw that plant, She said, “You even try it, Arlo…” And Arlo said, “No, ma’am, I can’t!” [Breakdown / spoken] (But then she grinned… leaned in just so… And the punchline wrote itself, you know.) [Final Chorus] Ol’ Arlo’s hangin’ by the mistletoe, Now he’s got lipstick on his nose! Wouldn’t be a problem, no, But somebody caught it on video! Boss man laughed, said “Let it roll,” “Best morale we’ve had all year, bro!” Now every Christmas, wouldn’t ya know ... We all hang out with the mistletoe! [Tag] Yeah, HR’s still not invited though… (‘Cause what happens there… well, ho-ho-ho!)