The Graybeard

boom-bap hip-hop, nerdcore hip-hop, tech rap, storytelling rap, underground hip-hop

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[Verse 1]
AWS certs passed
Solutions architect
Deployments are HA
And the apps health is checked
My clusters auto scale
Dashboards are all green
I'm a cloud infrastructure
Building machine

[Verse 2]
But wait, help desk flags a problem
Oh shoot, tickets are piling up
Dashboard is still green
But something clearly sucks
Packets disappearing
Gone without a trace
Gotta get this solved
Gotta pick up the pace

[Verse 3]
Open up my run book
Like best practices say to do
Double check logs
That I've already been through
NACL's are open, routes look clean
DNS resolving
Healthchecks are all green
Ping works fine, trace route too
But app traffic won't flow?
Now what should I do?

[Chorus]
There is no cloud (where'd my packets go?)
There is no cloud (something you should know)
There is no cloud (just wires and racks)
There is no cloud (here are the facts)

[Verse 4]
The network team closed the ticket
"Could not replicate"
But I know something's broken
Can't just sit and wait
So I head down to the NOC
Gonna find out what's real
Badge through the secure door
See the cables and the steel
Temperature keeps dropping
I'm following the hum
Past the walls of dashboards
That show where the packets come from
Rows of racks keep going
They're stretching out of sight
I find an office in back
Bathed in terminal's green light

[Verse 5]
He's not even running Linux
Just something called BSD.
I thought I was a nerd
But he outclasses me
This graybeard looks
Like he built the internet himself
Ancient tech manuals lining every shelf
Wireshark is running
Packets scrolling past
He don't even look up
Just keeps on typing fast
Looking at bare packets
It looks like Chinese to me
This crazy freak's glued to it
Like he's reading poetry
"Well, your problem is right here"
He pointed "Do you see?"
Bro, I got no idea
Explain it all to me
"You're sending 1500 bytes
Your frame size is too large
There's VXLAN overhead
Remember the router is in charge
Don't Fragment bit set
MTU is 1492
Of course you're losing packets
They're too big to get through"
One line config, problem solved clean
Most elegant fix that I've ever seen

[Verse 6]
I'm standing there stunned, everything clear
All my cloud abstractions just disappear
Load balancers, instances, availability zones
Just packets and routers and Ethernet bones
The whole stack collapses in my mind
All those layers I left behind
OSI model, TCP/IP
Physical layer's what makes it complete

[Outro]
I said "I thought I knew the cloud before today"
He spun around slowly
"Kid listen to what I say
There is no cloud floating
Somewhere up the line
Just other people's computers
Where you are renting time
So study the basics: hardware, networks. Go and take a peek
That's the stuff that saves your butt
When the fancy abstractions leak"

[Instrumental Outro - Server hum fade]

2809/7500

[Verse 1] AWS certs passed Solutions architect Deployments are HA And the apps health is checked My clusters auto scale Dashboards are all green I'm a cloud infrastructure Building machine [Verse 2] But wait, help desk flags a problem Oh shoot, tickets are piling up Dashboard is still green But something clearly sucks Packets disappearing Gone without a trace Gotta get this solved Gotta pick up the pace [Verse 3] Open up my run book Like best practices say to do Double check logs That I've already been through NACL's are open, routes look clean DNS resolving Healthchecks are all green Ping works fine, trace route too But app traffic won't flow? Now what should I do? [Chorus] There is no cloud (where'd my packets go?) There is no cloud (something you should know) There is no cloud (just wires and racks) There is no cloud (here are the facts) [Verse 4] The network team closed the ticket "Could not replicate" But I know something's broken Can't just sit and wait So I head down to the NOC Gonna find out what's real Badge through the secure door See the cables and the steel Temperature keeps dropping I'm following the hum Past the walls of dashboards That show where the packets come from Rows of racks keep going They're stretching out of sight I find an office in back Bathed in terminal's green light [Verse 5] He's not even running Linux Just something called BSD. I thought I was a nerd But he outclasses me This graybeard looks Like he built the internet himself Ancient tech manuals lining every shelf Wireshark is running Packets scrolling past He don't even look up Just keeps on typing fast Looking at bare packets It looks like Chinese to me This crazy freak's glued to it Like he's reading poetry "Well, your problem is right here" He pointed "Do you see?" Bro, I got no idea Explain it all to me "You're sending 1500 bytes Your frame size is too large There's VXLAN overhead Remember the router is in charge Don't Fragment bit set MTU is 1492 Of course you're losing packets They're too big to get through" One line config, problem solved clean Most elegant fix that I've ever seen [Verse 6] I'm standing there stunned, everything clear All my cloud abstractions just disappear Load balancers, instances, availability zones Just packets and routers and Ethernet bones The whole stack collapses in my mind All those layers I left behind OSI model, TCP/IP Physical layer's what makes it complete [Outro] I said "I thought I knew the cloud before today" He spun around slowly "Kid listen to what I say There is no cloud floating Somewhere up the line Just other people's computers Where you are renting time So study the basics: hardware, networks. Go and take a peek That's the stuff that saves your butt When the fancy abstractions leak" [Instrumental Outro - Server hum fade]

0/500