*Note to self: Listen back and confirm all vocal chops, repetitions, ad-libs and hook variations and rewrite * yeah, nah, i've still got you. just give me a sec. no, you won't have to explain it all again. i've got it here. she says her pay was meant to clear before eight. three bills came out, wages didn't land till twelve. thirty-five, thirty-five, thirty-five. a hundred and five in fees on eighty-seven dollars worth of bills. i ask her to confirm her date of birth. she goes, "i've already done that with the robot." yeah, sorry. got to ask. even though i've already got it. there's a notice on my other screen sayin' processing delays affecting incoming payments. sent out this morning, doesn't say much. nothing about reversing the charges, or who to contact. she's at the supermarket, moved her trolley to the side. says she's left the groceries at the checkout. "can you just put the money back? i don't need you to explain what happened." yeah. fair enough. hang on. i can see the problem. i can see it, yeah. the payment came in late. those charges shouldn't be there. i can see the problem. i'm looking right at it. there's a button here to reverse them. i can't click it. i can see the problem. yeah, i know. just give me a minute. i know. three returned payments, one-day flag. reverse fee's grey. click out, click back. notes say payroll delay, same date, same batch. tab across, scroll down, back up, still can't change that. she says, "they failed because you lot were late." yeah. i know. i've got the notice, got the dates. i've checked twice, refreshed twice, still the same. she doesn't want a breakdown. she wants the money. put my thumb on mute. Trev's walking past with his coffee. another agent's trying to get his attention. "mate, can you approve a reversal? it's from that payroll delay this morning." he asks why the account's flagged. i tell him. he asks if i've checked the account notes. yes, Trev. that's how i found the fucking problem. he looks at my timer. says, send the complaint form through. keeps walking. take it off mute. she says, "he said no, didn't he?" i say, it's not exactly a no, there's another process. "well what is it then?" it's a form. i don't say just a form. i tell her somebody'll review it. she asks how long. i'm looking for the answer. can't find it. i can see the problem. i can see it, yeah. the payment came in late. those charges shouldn't be there. i can see the problem. i'm looking right at it. there's a button here to reverse them. i can't click it. i can see the problem. i've said that already. she says, "yeah, you have. so what can you actually do?" there's another team i could ring. number's on a yellow note under my keyboard. sometimes they answer. sometimes you sit there for half an hour. forty-three calls waiting. my timer's gone red. there's a message from Trev about keeping the average down. she's still talking. i've started thinking about how long she'll keep me. had a fee like that myself last month. spent forty minutes getting nowhere. paid it in the end. nearly tell her that. don't reckon she'd appreciate it. she says, "you sound like you agree with me." i say, yeah, i do. then i go, i completely understand how frustrating this must be. fuck's sake. i've said the line. the exact bloody line. "i don't want you to understand. i want you to fix it." yeah. i could try that other number. i'm looking at it now. "hello? are you still there?" yeah, sorry. i'm here. i can see the problem. i can see the problem. it's right here on the screen. i can see the problem. yeah, i know. i know you've already told me. i can see the problem. the charges shouldn't be there. i can see the problem. there's nothing i can press. i lodge the complaint. tell her ten to fourteen business days. she goes, "what am i supposed to do till then?" i start saying something about keeping the reference number. she cuts me off. says she's written it down. right. okay. sorry about that. she hangs up before i get to the survey bit. the form asks how the call ended. i select information provided. take a mouthful of cold brew. next call comes through.
