DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE: HE IS PERFECT

Rock, smooth, fun, unique, emotional, groovy, woman’s ecoustics

My head jerked frantically, this way and that, as I looked up each aisle. Emma, unconcerned, blew spit bubbles, and jabbered “da-da-da-da-da.” Finally, I found him. He was sitting on the dirty floor with a Fisher Price barn in his lap. He rocked back and forth and flicked his hands in a jerking motion. Jacob’s eyes glazed over. He was overcome by the music that emanated from the baby toy. To him it was the sweetest sound. He was satisfied. The toy section was his favorite place. “Hey buddy,” I said, “we’ve got a few other places to go still.” I helped him on his feet. Jacob thrust the toy into the cart. “I wanna toy too!” Hunter shouted. “You have lots of toys” Grace told him firmly. My budget could only cover basic groceries. I would have to delay the storm until later. 
I quickly grabbed the things that we needed: eggs, milk, cheese, and bread. Then, set off for the checkout. Jacob thought that he had won. He stomp-danced and sidestepped beside the cart. Sometimes he would stop to grab a bag of Doritos, or crackers from a shelf, or he would press a button on the toy. My back tightened. I knew what was coming. 
We stood together in the lengthy line. The baby jabbered, and Hunter picked his nose with a grubby, sticky finger. Every so often, people turned and glanced at Jacob. They could not resist. He was not someone that you saw every day. Besides, he was pungent. His sweats wafted the smell of urinal. From time to time, I stroked the baby, or told my toddler to “please not touch that.” All the while keeping my eyes on Jacob. He was known to bolt, but, thankfully, the toy held his focus. “Don’t worry, we will be home soon” I said more to myself than to Grace. She was typically quiet and still, but the long wait made her restless. 
Eventually we checked out our items. “Can I have-a chocolate bar?” Hunter asked. “You don’t need candy every time that we come to the store,” Grace replied before I could respond. 
“Not today, Hunter, but you can have some cookies when we get home,” I said. That satisfied him. I strategically placed the toy last on the conveyor belt. I could feel the pressure building in my chest. When the groceries were all bagged, and before the toy reached the scanner, I whispered to the teller that we would not buy the toy. Jacob did not notice. He was trying to open a bag of chips. I sighed. The teller gave me the total, and I quickly paid for my items. 
As we started to move away from the till, Jacob realized what was missing. He was agitated. He tried to turn back several times. I wrapped my arm around him, and silently pressed forward. How far could we go before it started? We were at the exit when his feelings of loss finally sank in. Jacob threw himself on the floor kicking, screaming, and banging his head. He was blocking the doors. His shoes flew in the air. 
The hustle and bustle of shoppers stopped. My children went silent. Time seemed to move in slow motion. Bystanders whispered. I could feel their eyes. I could feel their judgement. I caught sight of the elderly doorman as he slowly shook his head. My muscles tightened and my teeth clenched. My heart began to beat faster. What was I going to do? 
Something inside of me switched on. I kicked into action. Strategically, I pushed our cart out of the way. Grace could keep an eye on things. Life in our home had made her mature. I picked up Jacob’s shoes, and slowly walked over to him. I bent down and placed them quietly on the floor. I sat with my legs straddled on each side of him. He continued to scream and kick. He smacked himself repeatedly in the face with his fists. I heard a woman behind me gasp. The crowd stood frozen, captivated by the scene. I gently rubbed Jacob’s back, and I sang softly into his ear. Gradually he quieted, the kicking stopped, and his body relaxed. He looked at me with wet eyes. “Are you done now?” I asked. His little hand signed “yes” in sign language. “I love you,” I said, and I kissed his cheek. “I am sorry that you had those big emotions today. I am sorry that things did not go your way. The world can be hard for all of us sometimes.” Then I put on his shoes, gave him a hug, and our family left the store.

4198/7500

My head jerked frantically, this way and that, as I looked up each aisle. Emma, unconcerned, blew spit bubbles, and jabbered “da-da-da-da-da.” Finally, I found him. He was sitting on the dirty floor with a Fisher Price barn in his lap. He rocked back and forth and flicked his hands in a jerking motion. Jacob’s eyes glazed over. He was overcome by the music that emanated from the baby toy. To him it was the sweetest sound. He was satisfied. The toy section was his favorite place. “Hey buddy,” I said, “we’ve got a few other places to go still.” I helped him on his feet. Jacob thrust the toy into the cart. “I wanna toy too!” Hunter shouted. “You have lots of toys” Grace told him firmly. My budget could only cover basic groceries. I would have to delay the storm until later. I quickly grabbed the things that we needed: eggs, milk, cheese, and bread. Then, set off for the checkout. Jacob thought that he had won. He stomp-danced and sidestepped beside the cart. Sometimes he would stop to grab a bag of Doritos, or crackers from a shelf, or he would press a button on the toy. My back tightened. I knew what was coming. We stood together in the lengthy line. The baby jabbered, and Hunter picked his nose with a grubby, sticky finger. Every so often, people turned and glanced at Jacob. They could not resist. He was not someone that you saw every day. Besides, he was pungent. His sweats wafted the smell of urinal. From time to time, I stroked the baby, or told my toddler to “please not touch that.” All the while keeping my eyes on Jacob. He was known to bolt, but, thankfully, the toy held his focus. “Don’t worry, we will be home soon” I said more to myself than to Grace. She was typically quiet and still, but the long wait made her restless. Eventually we checked out our items. “Can I have-a chocolate bar?” Hunter asked. “You don’t need candy every time that we come to the store,” Grace replied before I could respond. “Not today, Hunter, but you can have some cookies when we get home,” I said. That satisfied him. I strategically placed the toy last on the conveyor belt. I could feel the pressure building in my chest. When the groceries were all bagged, and before the toy reached the scanner, I whispered to the teller that we would not buy the toy. Jacob did not notice. He was trying to open a bag of chips. I sighed. The teller gave me the total, and I quickly paid for my items. As we started to move away from the till, Jacob realized what was missing. He was agitated. He tried to turn back several times. I wrapped my arm around him, and silently pressed forward. How far could we go before it started? We were at the exit when his feelings of loss finally sank in. Jacob threw himself on the floor kicking, screaming, and banging his head. He was blocking the doors. His shoes flew in the air. The hustle and bustle of shoppers stopped. My children went silent. Time seemed to move in slow motion. Bystanders whispered. I could feel their eyes. I could feel their judgement. I caught sight of the elderly doorman as he slowly shook his head. My muscles tightened and my teeth clenched. My heart began to beat faster. What was I going to do? Something inside of me switched on. I kicked into action. Strategically, I pushed our cart out of the way. Grace could keep an eye on things. Life in our home had made her mature. I picked up Jacob’s shoes, and slowly walked over to him. I bent down and placed them quietly on the floor. I sat with my legs straddled on each side of him. He continued to scream and kick. He smacked himself repeatedly in the face with his fists. I heard a woman behind me gasp. The crowd stood frozen, captivated by the scene. I gently rubbed Jacob’s back, and I sang softly into his ear. Gradually he quieted, the kicking stopped, and his body relaxed. He looked at me with wet eyes. “Are you done now?” I asked. His little hand signed “yes” in sign language. “I love you,” I said, and I kissed his cheek. “I am sorry that you had those big emotions today. I am sorry that things did not go your way. The world can be hard for all of us sometimes.” Then I put on his shoes, gave him a hug, and our family left the store.

0/500