[INTRO – AGGRESSIVE VINYL SCRATCH, DEEP DISTORTED 808 BASS, DRY HIP-HOP BREAKBEAT. EERIE HARPSICHORD NOTES OVER A DARK HYPNOTIC GROOVE.] [POSH MALE VOICE – SNOOTY, SPOKEN] Your Majesty... Your organic breakfast is served. Fresh berries from the royal gardens, Free-range eggs, Wild-caught salmon, And hand-picked vegetables. [PAUSE] [DEEP MALE – LAZY AUSTRALIAN DRAWL] And what's everyone else having? [POSH VOICE] Something from a packet. [HEAVY BASS DROP] [VERSE 1 – CHEEKY RHYTHMIC MALE VOCAL] The king's got organic carrots, The queen's got organic peas, They've got a hundred bloody gardeners Growing broccoli and beans. They've got chickens running freely, They've got orchards full of fruit, While we're standing in the supermarket Buying something made of glue! Their tomatoes taste like sunshine, Their strawberries taste like spring, Ours have travelled halfway round the world Wrapped in seventeen layers of cling! [PRE-CHORUS – BASS CUTS, VINYL SCRATCH] [MALE] What's for dinner, Your Majesty? [POSH VOICE] Grass-fed lamb and organic greens. [MALE] And the peasants? [POSH VOICE] Whatever's in the vending machine. [CHORUS – HUGE PHONK BASS, SCRATCHES, MALE GANG CHANTS] ORGANIC FOR US! CHEMICALS FOR YOU! WE GET THE GARDEN! YOU GET THE GOO! FRESH FROM THE EARTH! STRAIGHT FROM THE FARM! YOU GET A BURGER WITH A MYSTERY ARM! ORGANIC FOR US! PROCESSED FOR YOU! WELCOME TO THE BANQUET! NOW GET BACK IN THE QUEUE! [EXTENDED INSTRUMENTAL – AGGRESSIVE TURNTABLE SCRATCHING, FILTHY 808 SLIDES, SYNCOPATED BREAKBEATS, EERIE HARPSICHORD STABS.] [VERSE 2 – DEEP SARCASTIC MALE VOCAL] They've got private little doctors, And a naturopath on call, Massage, herbs and fancy treatments, With a clinic down the hall. They've got saunas, spas and healers, And machines that cost a mint, While we're sitting in a waiting room With a number on a print! In our imaginary kingdom, They don't queue up for a jab, They've got every kind of wellness toy Invented in a lab. [MALE SPOKEN] So what's the secret to a long life? [POSH VOICE] Excellent healthcare, my dear fellow. [MALE] And a bloody enormous bank account! [HEAVY BASS DROP] [VERSE 3 – DARKER GROOVE, CHOPPED VOCAL SAMPLES] They've got chefs in little white hats, Preparing every meal, Nothing from a factory, Everything is real. No packets full of flavour dust, No chocolate by the pound, No fluorescent orange cheese balls At the royal dinner round! They've got silver knives and forks, And a napkin on each knee, While we're eating something labelled "May contain traces of tree!" [MALE SPOKEN] What the hell's a modified starch? [POSH VOICE] Not something we'd serve at home. [MALE] Well, isn't that bloody convenient! [CHORUS – BIGGER, HEAVIER BASS] ORGANIC FOR US! CHEMICALS FOR YOU! WE GET THE GARDEN! YOU GET THE GOO! FRESH FROM THE EARTH! STRAIGHT FROM THE FARM! YOU GET A BURGER WITH A MYSTERY ARM! ORGANIC FOR US! PROCESSED FOR YOU! WELCOME TO THE BANQUET! NOW GET BACK IN THE QUEUE! [INSTRUMENTAL – HEAVY BREAKBEAT, TURNTABLE SCRATCH SOLO, LOW DISTORTED ROCK GUITAR STABS, ROLLING SUB-BASS.] [VERSE 4 – SNEERING ARISTOCRATIC HUMOUR] They call us useless feeders, In their imaginary club, While they're feasting on the finest, We're surviving on the grub. They've got plans for every acre, Every seed and every cow, They'd put a price upon the sunshine If they could work out how! They've got patents on the future, They've got shares in every pie, And a laboratory working On a genetically improved fly! [MALE SPOKEN] What's wrong with the original fly? [POSH VOICE] It refuses to sign the contract. [DRUM FILL – BASS DROP] [BRIDGE – MUSIC STRIPS TO DEEP BASS PULSE, SOFT HARPSICHORD] [MALE – LOW, DRY, SARCASTIC] They've got everything money buys, The finest food and care, But apparently a little compassion Is something rather rare. They've got gardens full of roses, And a banquet every night, But if the peasants grow their own food... [POSH VOICE – ALARMED] Good heavens! They might get the idea They have a right! [EXPLOSIVE BREAKBEAT DROP] [FINAL CHORUS – MASSIVE PHONK GROOVE, GANG VOCALS, TURNTABLE SCRATCHES] ORGANIC FOR US! CHEMICALS FOR YOU! WE GET THE GARDEN! YOU GET THE GOO! FRESH FROM THE EARTH! STRAIGHT FROM THE FARM! YOU GET A BURGER WITH A MYSTERY ARM! ORGANIC FOR US! PROCESSED FOR YOU! WELCOME TO THE BANQUET! NOW GET BACK IN THE QUEUE! [EXTENDED OUTRO – DARK HYPNOTIC PHONK, HEAVY SUB-BASS, AGGRESSIVE VINYL SCRATCHES, INDUSTRIAL PERCUSSION. GROOVE CONTINUES.] [POSH MALE VOICE] Your Majesty... The peasants are requesting fresh organic vegetables. [LONG PAUSE] [SECOND POSH MALE VOICE] Whatever next? Clean drinking water? [MALE – DEADPAN] Don't give them ideas. [FINAL VINYL SCRATCH – BASS HIT] [END]
