[Verse: Funky Detective Jazz with wah-wah guitar, slinky bassline, brushed drum shuffle, campy noir horns popping between lines] When the groove police show up On the scene It's lookin' real tough And they're investigatin' the murder (What murder?) The murder of a turkey Turkey (What murder?) The murder of a turkey [Prechorus: 70s Cop-Show Groove, tight hi-hat, echo-drenched call-and-response voices like a spoof interrogation room] (Murdered) Murdered Murdered (Murdered) Murdered Murdered (Murdered) Murdered Murdered [Chorus: Retro Crime-Funk anthem, bold brass hits, disco bass octave jumps, rhythmic “waka-chicka” guitar chopping through the beat] The turkey was murdered The turkey was murdered The turkey was murdered The turkey was murdered Turkey The turkey was murdered Turkey The turkey was murdered Turkey The turkey was murdered Turkey The turkey was murdered [Verse 2: Cartoon Mystery Pop meets detective soul, bouncy bass, cheeky percussion, vibraphone licks, comedic sting chords after each punchline] So I start my investigation I'm gonna find that turkey killer (Yeah) And then I'm gonna put him in the pen (Yeah) And then I'm gonna throw away the key (Oh, no) And then I'm gonna take a vacation (Huh, what?) And then I'm gonna go to the beach I'm gonna have a cocktail I'm gonna have a piña colada (Hey, ooh-wee) I'm gonna sit under the sun I'm gonna wear my sunglasses (Yeah) I'm gonna listen to the seagulls (Huh, huh) I'm gonna do a little tan (Oh, no) I'm gonna swim in the ocean (Huh, what?) And then I'm gonna go back to my room And then I'm gonna go to sleep And then I'm gonna wake up And then I'm gonna start again (No) Turkey Turkey [Chorus: Same crime-funk intensity, with extra horn stabs and rising strings for absurd dramatic flair] The turkey was murdered The turkey was murdered The turkey was murdered The turkey was murdered Turkey The turkey was murdered Turkey The turkey was murdered Turkey The turkey was murdered Turkey The turkey was murdered [Bridge: Campy Noir Soul breakdown, minimal bass thump, whispered “No” responses like an over-the-top chief yelling in the background] And then I'm gonna take a vacation (No) And then I'm gonna go to the beach (No) I'm gonna have a cocktail (No) I'm gonna have a piña colada (No) I'm gonna sit under the sun (No) I'm gonna wear my sunglasses (No) I'm gonna listen to the seagulls (No) I'm gonna do a little tan (No) I'm gonna swim in the ocean (No) And then I'm gonna go back to my room (No) And then I'm gonna go to sleep (No) And
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