I Late night. Empty road. One light in the whole city… flickering like it’s got something to say. So I’m walking. And I’m listening. One city light flickers like it’s trying to speak, Empty road, late-night air, bitter and bleak. I climb that hill with a history I hid Half wrong, half right, but I still walk legit. If you hear my steps in the hush of the dark, That’s me learning how to live with a missing part. One city light flickers, I’m under its grip Trying to turn regret into a language that fits. Midnight wind-bite, streetlight glitch-strike, strobe like a sore nerve, One lone lamp doing Morse for the wars that I don’t deserve. Cold shoulder of the roadway no cars, no crowd, no chorus, Just my breath drawing rings in the air like I’m tracing a promise. Footfall, truth-toll, each step got a debt in it, Head full of “should’ve,” my chest got a threat in it. I press down the creep-feel, keep it sealed like a steel vault Call it pitiful still it crawls by default. Every incline’s a confessional, every blink is a witness, That bulb up ahead keeps time for my guilt and my sickness. I’m not asking the night to forgive what I can’t fix, I’m just asking for the strength to keep walking through the mix... One city light flickers like it’s trying to speak, Empty road, late-night air, bitter and bleak. I climb that hill with a history I hid Half wrong, half right, but I still walk legit. If you hear my steps in the hush of the dark, That’s me learning how to live with a missing part. One city light flickers, I’m under its grip Trying to turn regret into a language that fits. Try to picture my father face fading like film in heat, Failures stay vivid when the good wants to retreat. I remember every moment I disappointed him pointed inward, Like a dartboard for the parts of me that never learned words. But I remember the bright too: the field that his hands made, Boards, nails, dirt, sweat love in a workday. We played ball till the sky went copper summer got loud, For a minute we were normal, lucky, proud. He drank yeah but it’s hard to brand him clean, Not a monster just a man cracked somewhere in between. Unhappy isn’t evil, it’s heavy and bent, I had rough chapters with him… now I miss him instead. Hospital memory: white sheets, dim beeps, morphine mist, His eyes out at sea drifting, lifting, losing the list. He couldn’t track the room, couldn’t lock on the day, Like the world was a radio fading away. Then they said my name and he moved door unlatched, Like love cut the haze and his spirit snapped back. I didn’t say it didn’t put it in his palm as proof, So I carry that silence like a stone in my boot. I want rewind, not time want a second to land it, Want to tell him “I love you” with my whole chest behind it. So I say it to the dark like maybe he’s still there. One city light flickers like it’s trying to speak, Empty road, late-night air, bitter and bleak. I climb that hill with a history I hid Half wrong, half right, but I still walk legit. If you hear my steps in the hush of the dark, That’s me learning how to live with a missing part. One city light flickers, I’m under its grip Trying to turn regret into a language that fits. Now add to the ledger my oldest brother, colder weather, Late-night call to my mother, trying to keep it together. “Ma… I’m going into surgery.” Voice steady, nerves trembling, Hope hanging by a thread while the clock keeps assembling. New heart in his chest we held breath like prayer, But he didn’t wake up to the promise in there. Something went wrong in the dark room fell still, Left us staring at ceilings like time never will. Left his woman alone with an empty side of the bed, Left me talking to shadows with my hands in my head. Too many years apart, too many seasons on mute, We couldn’t find our language, but we tried yeah, tried for truth. We circled hard topics like ice we didn’t trust, Testing every step, hoping love wouldn’t bust. Sometimes love is a letter you never send, Sometimes pride’s the wall you swear you defend. I’m done with the armor, done acting like stone, If there’s a door on the other side, I’m knocking alone. Don't worry Ur son is safe 2022, run-down airport, tired seats, Christmas drive through the dark, heart doing double-time beats. Just to sit with you, our brother and Mom, breathe, laugh a bit, Pack a lifetime in moments ’cause time won’t quit. I’m grateful for that ride even if it hurts to replay, ’Cause love looks small in the moment, then saves you one day. I’m thirty-five. I got an eleven-month-old daughter tiny hands, huge future. A wife, a home… and a heart full of ghosts. So I’m learning Say it now. Say it while you can. One city light flickers like it’s trying to speak, Empty road, late-night air, bitter and bleak... Dad. I love you. Big bro. I miss you. I’m sorry I didn’t say enough when it mattered. We love you both.
