Daddy's little candy sweet, Daddy's pet, his pride complete, Oh so sweet and oh so dear — Everyone gets beaten here, He gets crowned with cheer! That's the upbringing we had, Force and threats and beatings bad, Those were times, my dearest friend, When our fathers'd beat without end! Everyone gets hit and battered, 'Less they're drunk — then nothing mattered, Only one sweet little candy — Daddy's little Paulie, dandy, Valued, loved and oh-so-cherished, Praised — not bruised — before he perished, Over Paulie so adored! Now the family's got a problem, Holidays grow dark and solemn, When the brothers gather 'round, Eating herring, homeward bound, Trading views without a sound — But the sweet and little candy Wants to be more warm and handy, Wants to graciously look down… At those stupid worthless clowns! At those stupid worthless clowns!! At those stupid worthless clowns!!! Let's consider this perspective — Was the beating not effective? After all, they shaped our manners! We know how to honor others! We know how to treat the weaker, How to hold the lost and meeker, And with pity gaze from high… At those stupid rats nearby… At those stupid rats nearby! At those stupid rats nearby!!! But now his wife's the one who's hitting, The candy's taken up his drinking, With his hands that shake and tremble, Runs his companies, can't dissemble, Always under Hannah's eye! Always under Hannah's eye! Always under Hannah's eye!!!
