The best way to start your day (Doo-waaah, doo-waaah) With antacid in your cup Doo-wah doo-dee-doo (dee-Dear-God-she’s-here) Stalled in the queue at 7 A M Because her whipped cream went flat (and there's not enough) I'm fifth behind as the whole world ends She's got a grievance the milk is one percent too fat (and it's too sweet) She berates the barista as a god would the dirt beneath her feet And I’m standing here (just standing here) Jaw clenched so tight Smile painted on I choke it down It’s the least that I can do for now Karen (Karen) I don’t have the energy God took one look and skipped the empathy Karen (Karen) You’re a pinch at the back of my eye The tax I pay just to exist In your way Ring ring — it’s my afternoon Yet another Karen here too soon Your problem's are ones that you alone created You're chimping out (your fault) going bananas “Manager? that’s me. great. wonderful.” I love this for us both (I really don’t) You butchered my name three times today But you're the one so very denigrated And I’m nodding here - on Mute - Mouthing at the wall (Jesus would blush) The pressure gauge is climbing and the needle's Starting to blur Karen (Karen) You’ve hollowed out my soul I’m clotting up the hole with self-control Karen (Karen) Every measure of patience I hold Has a ceiling Today you found the floor I’ll park right in your spot It won’t take a lot Two stars - “Could be better” A newsletter or two CC’d your boss the whole chain Soaked your tampons in the drain Smile at you From my station And never blink you are the main character in a garbage script nobody asked for …that needs a better author you are the protagonist hamming it up in this giant shitshow the rest of us are just the extras on your stage .... and everybody clapped Karen (Karen) We used to have the energy You’ve built a roster full of enemies Karen (Karen) God deigned you a perpetual victim You’ve got all the symptoms incidental narcissism Karen (Karen) Oh oh-oh-oh This is all you really want Go on, pull another stunt You insufferable cuh-cuh-cuh-Karen Oh… bless your heart.
