[Intro — Sneaky orchestral cartoon music] [Male — sinister whisper] Heh-heh-heh-heh! There she sits… Lusya! And there it stands… THE MILKSHAKE! One glass of strawberry perfection! And I'm gonna get it! [Male villain laugh] MWAHAHAHA! [Female — Lusya, suspicious] Oh no… not you again! [Verse 1 — Bouncy rock ’n’ roll, plucked bass] I creep round the corner, I slither round the back, I've got a cunning little plan and a milkshake-snatching knack. I've dressed up as a waiter, got a tray beneath my chin, I'll swap her glass for an empty one and sneak the real one in! [Sound effect — boing!] [Female — spoken] Funny… I don't remember ordering a waiter with a moustache! [Male — shocked] Curses! Foiled again! [Chorus — Male lead, doo-wop backing] Sneaky, sneaky, here I come, Strawberry shake, you're the one! Tiptoe left and sneak around, Grab that glass without a sound! [Female backing vocals] No, no, no! You can't have mine! [Male] That strawberry shake will soon be mine! [Female] Not in this lifetime, sneaky boy! [Male — villain laugh] Heh-heh-heh! I'll get that joy! [Verse 2 — Faster cartoon chase rhythm] I'll dig a tunnel underneath her chair, Pop up with a straw and pretend I belong there. I'll use a fishing rod, I'll use a little hook, I'll snatch that shake away before she gets a look! [Sound effect — spring boing, cymbal crash] [Female — amused] You do realise you're holding the wrong end? [Male] What?! [Sound effect — SPLAT!] [Male — muffled] I got the milkshake on my face! [Female — laughing] That's what you get for trying to steal my taste! [Chorus — Full band, handclaps] Sneaky, sneaky, try again, I'm the world's most foolish milkshake man! Dodge and duck and make a dash, Lusya's shake goes SPLASH! [Female] Guard that glass, keep it near, The milkshake bandit's back, I fear! [Bridge — Dramatic villain plotting] [Male — whispering over pizzicato strings] I've got it! A disguise! A fake moustache! A big surprise! I'll dress as a strawberry, bright and red, And sneak right past her instead! [Female — deadpan] You're wearing a strawberry costume? [Male] Yes! [Female] With your face sticking out the top? [Male] …Possibly! [Female] And your name badge says MILKSHAKE THIEF? [Male] CURSES! Foiled again! [Female — laughing] You're not very good at this, are you? [Instrumental — wild saxophone, electric guitar and cartoon chase break] [Final Verse — Maximum cartoon chaos] I launch my final scheme, the greatest ever planned, A rocket-powered milkshake grabber built by my own hand! I press the little button, hear the engine start to roar, It shoots me through the ceiling and straight out the diner door! [Sound effect — WHOOSH! CRASH!] [Male — distant] I'll get you next time, Lusya! [Female — calmly sipping] Mmm… strawberry! [Final Chorus — Big 1960s rock ’n’ roll finale] Sneaky, sneaky, off you go, Better luck next time, Romeo! Schemes and gadgets, plots galore, You won't get through my diner door! [Male — returning in a whisper] Just one little sip? [Female] NO! [Male] Heh-heh-heh… worth a try! [Outro — Vintage cartoon villain laugh] [Male] I'll be back! [Female] I'll have a new milkshake! [Male] NOOOOO! [Final band hit — boing!]
