Oh, Canada (The Grand Tour S02E10)
[Intro] (Majestic acoustic guitar strumming, deep driving bassline, heavy stable rock drum beat enters) [Verse 1] The Cotswolds tent is hidden by the early winter fog But the studio screen is shining like a glowing cedar log The Canadian wilderness is calling us tonight With snow-capped rocky mountains and a blinding northern light [Verse 2] Three mid-sized luxury SUVs are waiting on the grass To see which modern family car has the finest class They want to prove their worth out in the rugged backcountry Far away from city streets and suburban luxury [Verse 3] Jeremy Clarkson chooses speed, Italian style and pride An Alfa Romeo Stelvio, red and mean and wide With a twin-turbo V6 that loves to scream and shout Ready to show the others what performance is about [Verse 4] And Richard Hammond brings the class, a British sleek design The Range Rover Velar, following a futuristic line It has touchscreens inside and a quiet diesel purr He thinks he is a mountain king without a single care [Verse 5] But James May is sensible, a Swedish safety dome The Volvo XC60 makes him feel right at home With a hybrid engine running neat, avoiding every scar The most intelligent and practical family car [Verse 6] They start the journey north where the pine trees grow so tall The gravel roads are bumpy and the bridges look quite small Jeremy is shifting gears, pushing the Alfa fast But the low front bumper wasn't built to bloody last [Verse 7] The first big challenge starts beside a cold and misty lake They have to tow three massive boats, a heavy risk to take The Stelvio is spinning wheels, the tires start to smoke Trying to pull a racing yacht is definitely no joke [Verse 8] Richard’s sleek Velar is struggling with the heavy weight The suspension is lowering, fighting with the freight He curses through the walkie-talkie, moving way too slow While the Canadian park rangers watch the clumsy show [Verse 9] But Captain Slow is steady, the Volvo has the grip The electric motor helps him on his heavy towing trip He passes both the broken cars with a cheeky little smile Proving that Swedish engineering wins the vildmark mile [Verse 10] [Music shifts to a heavier, dramatic electronic rock beat] Now back at Eboladrome, the asphalt is quite wet Jeremy tests a spaceship that you will not forget The Tesla Model X, with doors that fly up high Like a giant chrome bird beneath the cloudy British sky [Verse 11] It launches in complete silence, but faster than a jet With a group of serious lawyers sitting in the back, you bet It reads out all the legal rules while drifting through the bend A futuristic nightmare or a speedway-loving friend [Verse 12] [Back to the Canadian roots rock rhythm] We travel back to Canada where the final race is near An official ski resort filled with adrenaline and fear They have to drive the SUVs up the alpine slope so steep Where normally the snowboarders and snowplows safely leap [Verse 13] The Alfa Romeo roars, the V6 screams out loud Throwing mud and gravel, making Jeremy so proud He’s sliding through the snowbanks, fighting for the lead Pushing the Italian truck to its absolute limit of speed [Verse 14] The Range Rover is climbing well, using its off-road mode But Richard hits a hidden rock, exploding on the road The tire goes completely flat, the rim is heavily bent Leaving the little Hamster looking battered and so spent [Verse 15] James May is crawling upwards, keeping the Volvo neat But the mountain is too slippery for his sensible street feet The Alfa reaches the top first, standing in the white Winning the Canadian special in the fading winter light [Verse 16] In Celebrity Face-Off, the battle lines are clear Two legendary actors walk out with a cheer Rory McIlroy and Paris Hilton are mentioned in the track As sports stars and celebrities try to push the lap times back [Verse 17] The sixth song is over, the Canadian trip is done From the slopes of British Columbia to the setting western sun The Grand Tour truck is packing, the engines roar out loud On to the next adventure, keeping petrolheads so proud [Outro] (Cinematic roots rock guitar solo, stadium drums pounding hard, sound of a car engine revving up a steep hill, final loud chord fading into a howling mountain wind)
