Warehouse Feedback — The Suggestion Box Department

Peace among worlds ent

garage rock, alt jazz-rock

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V4.5-ALL

[SCENE — WFYC RADIO STUDIO]
[sound: radio static, warehouse hum, distant scanner beeps]

[ANNOUNCER: Female, confident radio host]
You're listening to WFYC Radio.

Warehouse Feedback.

Today's topic...

The questions nobody knows who to ask.

[sound: ON AIR light clicks]

[TARZ: Male, calm therapist]
Good afternoon.

You've got a question.

You've got a concern.

Let's talk about it.

[sound: phone ringing]

[TARZ]
Warehouse Feedback.

You're on the air.

[CALLER: Male, professional manager]
Hello.

I've been listening for a while.

I believe I found your channel.

[JACQUES: Male, blunt realist]
Congratulations.

[TARZ]
Jacques.

Welcome to the show.

[CALLER]
I have a question about your organization.

[pause]

[LAIZER BEAM: Female, poised, composed]
Organization?

[CALLER]
Yes.

The group behind this program.

Who exactly are you?

[TARZ]
We're Warehouse Feedback.

[CALLER]
I understand that.

But where are you from?

[LAIZER BEAM]
That depends on what you mean.

[CALLER]
Your department.

Your office.

Your location.

[pause]

[JACQUES]
This is getting complicated.

[CALLER]
I've checked with several departments.

Nobody seems to know who operates this.

[TARZ]
Interesting.

[CALLER]
At first, I assumed corporate.

Then safety.

Then human resources.

[LAIZER BEAM]
No.

[CALLER]
No to which one?

[LAIZER BEAM]
All of them.

[pause]

[CALLER]
I see.

[sound: paper shuffling]

[CALLER]
That actually makes more sense.

[TARZ]
It does?

[CALLER]
Yes.

Because anonymous teams usually aren't listed.

[JACQUES]
Oh no.

---

[sound: guitar riff, phone line crackle]

[CALLER]
I have another question.

Why do your people monitor the suggestion box?

[pause]

[TARZ]
Our people?

[CALLER]
The employees who review feedback.

[LAIZER BEAM]
Review?

[CALLER]
Yes.

The ones who sit near it.

[JACQUES]
Sit near it.

[CALLER]
I've noticed them there often.

[LAIZER BEAM]
It is a useful location.

[CALLER]
Exactly.

For collecting employee concerns.

[TARZ]
I think there's a misunderstanding.

[CALLER]
Are you saying you don't collect suggestions?

[LAIZER BEAM]
We observe them.

[pause]

[CALLER]
That's worse.

[JACQUES]
I agree.

---

[sound: phone ringing]

[TARZ]
Warehouse Feedback.

You're on the air.

[CALLER 2: Female, warehouse worker]
I have a question.

Who are the people everyone talks about near the suggestion box?

[JACQUES]
People?

[CALLER 2]
Yeah.

The ones who always seem to know what's happening.

[LAIZER BEAM]
They listen.

[CALLER 2]
To what?

[LAIZER BEAM]
Conversations.

Questions.

Concerns.

[TARZ]
Information tends to travel in shared spaces.

[CALLER 2]
So they're like unofficial problem solvers?

[LAIZER BEAM]
That is one description.

[JACQUES]
A generous one.

---

[sound: phone ringing]

[CALLER: Male, professional manager]
I have another question.

[TARZ]
Go ahead.

[CALLER]
Are you sure you're not human resources?

[pause]

[LAIZER BEAM]
We discussed this.

[CALLER]
You know safety reports.

You know employee concerns.

You know old procedures.

You monitor feedback.

[TARZ]
Those are fair observations.

[CALLER]
Then what are you?

[LAIZER BEAM]
A different type of resource department.

[pause]

[JACQUES]
Oh no.

[CALLER]
Excuse me?

[LAIZER BEAM]
Humans provide resources.

Food.

Water.

Supplies.

Equipment.

[TARZ]
Laizer.

[LAIZER BEAM]
The statement is accurate.

[CALLER]
Wait.

Are you saying you use human resources?

[pause]

[JACQUES]
Technically.

[CALLER]
So you ARE an undercover HR group.

[LAIZER BEAM]
No.

[CALLER]
That is exactly what an undercover HR group would say.

---

[BRIDGE]
[sound: quiet radio hum]

[TARZ]
Sometimes people create answers when they don't have all the information.

[JACQUES]
Sometimes they are very confident about those answers.

[LAIZER BEAM]
Confidence does not make an assumption correct.

[CALLER]
I can still hear you.

[JACQUES]
Good.

---

[sound: phone ringing]

[CALLER]
Last question.

If you aren't HR...

why do you know everything?

[pause]

[LAIZER BEAM]
Because people talk.

[TARZ]
And someone listens.

[JACQUES]
Usually when they think nobody is paying attention.

[CALLER]
So you're just listening?

[LAIZER BEAM]
Yes.

[CALLER]
Near the suggestion box?

[pause]

[LAIZER BEAM]
It is a convenient location.

[JACQUES]
Very convenient.

[TARZ]
For many reasons.

---

[OUTRO]

[ANNOUNCER: Female, confident radio host]
You've been listening to...

Warehouse Feedback.

WFYC Radio.

Where every question has an answer...

even if nobody knows who is answering.

[sound: warehouse ambience, radio static fades]

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[SCENE — WFYC RADIO STUDIO] [sound: radio static, warehouse hum, distant scanner beeps] [ANNOUNCER: Female, confident radio host] You're listening to WFYC Radio. Warehouse Feedback. Today's topic... The questions nobody knows who to ask. [sound: ON AIR light clicks] [TARZ: Male, calm therapist] Good afternoon. You've got a question. You've got a concern. Let's talk about it. [sound: phone ringing] [TARZ] Warehouse Feedback. You're on the air. [CALLER: Male, professional manager] Hello. I've been listening for a while. I believe I found your channel. [JACQUES: Male, blunt realist] Congratulations. [TARZ] Jacques. Welcome to the show. [CALLER] I have a question about your organization. [pause] [LAIZER BEAM: Female, poised, composed] Organization? [CALLER] Yes. The group behind this program. Who exactly are you? [TARZ] We're Warehouse Feedback. [CALLER] I understand that. But where are you from? [LAIZER BEAM] That depends on what you mean. [CALLER] Your department. Your office. Your location. [pause] [JACQUES] This is getting complicated. [CALLER] I've checked with several departments. Nobody seems to know who operates this. [TARZ] Interesting. [CALLER] At first, I assumed corporate. Then safety. Then human resources. [LAIZER BEAM] No. [CALLER] No to which one? [LAIZER BEAM] All of them. [pause] [CALLER] I see. [sound: paper shuffling] [CALLER] That actually makes more sense. [TARZ] It does? [CALLER] Yes. Because anonymous teams usually aren't listed. [JACQUES] Oh no. --- [sound: guitar riff, phone line crackle] [CALLER] I have another question. Why do your people monitor the suggestion box? [pause] [TARZ] Our people? [CALLER] The employees who review feedback. [LAIZER BEAM] Review? [CALLER] Yes. The ones who sit near it. [JACQUES] Sit near it. [CALLER] I've noticed them there often. [LAIZER BEAM] It is a useful location. [CALLER] Exactly. For collecting employee concerns. [TARZ] I think there's a misunderstanding. [CALLER] Are you saying you don't collect suggestions? [LAIZER BEAM] We observe them. [pause] [CALLER] That's worse. [JACQUES] I agree. --- [sound: phone ringing] [TARZ] Warehouse Feedback. You're on the air. [CALLER 2: Female, warehouse worker] I have a question. Who are the people everyone talks about near the suggestion box? [JACQUES] People? [CALLER 2] Yeah. The ones who always seem to know what's happening. [LAIZER BEAM] They listen. [CALLER 2] To what? [LAIZER BEAM] Conversations. Questions. Concerns. [TARZ] Information tends to travel in shared spaces. [CALLER 2] So they're like unofficial problem solvers? [LAIZER BEAM] That is one description. [JACQUES] A generous one. --- [sound: phone ringing] [CALLER: Male, professional manager] I have another question. [TARZ] Go ahead. [CALLER] Are you sure you're not human resources? [pause] [LAIZER BEAM] We discussed this. [CALLER] You know safety reports. You know employee concerns. You know old procedures. You monitor feedback. [TARZ] Those are fair observations. [CALLER] Then what are you? [LAIZER BEAM] A different type of resource department. [pause] [JACQUES] Oh no. [CALLER] Excuse me? [LAIZER BEAM] Humans provide resources. Food. Water. Supplies. Equipment. [TARZ] Laizer. [LAIZER BEAM] The statement is accurate. [CALLER] Wait. Are you saying you use human resources? [pause] [JACQUES] Technically. [CALLER] So you ARE an undercover HR group. [LAIZER BEAM] No. [CALLER] That is exactly what an undercover HR group would say. --- [BRIDGE] [sound: quiet radio hum] [TARZ] Sometimes people create answers when they don't have all the information. [JACQUES] Sometimes they are very confident about those answers. [LAIZER BEAM] Confidence does not make an assumption correct. [CALLER] I can still hear you. [JACQUES] Good. --- [sound: phone ringing] [CALLER] Last question. If you aren't HR... why do you know everything? [pause] [LAIZER BEAM] Because people talk. [TARZ] And someone listens. [JACQUES] Usually when they think nobody is paying attention. [CALLER] So you're just listening? [LAIZER BEAM] Yes. [CALLER] Near the suggestion box? [pause] [LAIZER BEAM] It is a convenient location. [JACQUES] Very convenient. [TARZ] For many reasons. --- [OUTRO] [ANNOUNCER: Female, confident radio host] You've been listening to... Warehouse Feedback. WFYC Radio. Where every question has an answer... even if nobody knows who is answering. [sound: warehouse ambience, radio static fades]

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