[Intro] [verse] On a bright, sunny day-ay, I launched in to OUTER space. No one wreck-ick-nized me, Cause I covered up my fa-ace. After drifting for hours or Lifetimes, it seems, I met the girl of my drea-eams. We married, had kids, Their all grown now, And just now behind the sea-enes. I looked and I saw, my wife And kids large claws, Then they started EATING ME! [CHORUS] WE’RE ALL FUCKING DOOMED! I SEALED ALL OUR FATES! I CROSS BRED WITH ALIEN SPACE CROCS! I SO SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! WHEN SHE USED MY PHONE! AS A TAMPON FOR HER GREEN CROTCH! Oh, whoa, whoa oh! I have bad luck! [verse] After they ate me, I died. I had this empty feeling inside, I felt like a part of me was missing. My soul strolled along, Not feeling so strong, And then I felt like pissing. I took my ghost trout out, Looked around my cloud, My ghost pee then started to flow. I hear a voice below, It sounded like Jo, The street wise girl from facts of life. She saw my ghost trout, Then we tried it out And now Jo is my new second wife! [CHORUS] WE’RE ALL FUCKING DOOMED! I SEALED ALL OUR FATES! I CROSS BRED WITH ALIEN SPACE CROCS! I SO SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! WHEN SHE USED MY PHONE! AS A TAMPON FOR HER GREEN CROTCH! Oh, whoa, whoa oh! I have bad luck! [Solo] [bridge] Jo and I hatched a plan, We stole Tutti’s van, We headed back to earth! The aliens were there, Soaring through the air, Shooting the people below. Then from my right, I saw Todd Bridges take flight! And I knew he’d kill all those Bozos! [CHORUS] WE’RE ALL FUCKING DOOMED! I SEALED ALL OUR FATES! I CROSS BRED WITH ALIEN SPACE CROCS! I SO SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! WHEN SHE USED MY PHONE! AS A TAMPON FOR HER GREEN CROTCH! Oh, whoa, whoa oh! I have bad luck! [outro] After two hours, with the aliens dead, “I killed all those assholes!” Todd Bridges said. “Hooray!” I shouted, on this momentous day! “I know what you are talking about, Todd! That’s what I say!”
