[Intro] Yeah… This that raw nerve talk—no filter, no halo [Verse 1] Came out the gutter with a mouth full of ash, Hands full of nothin’ but a future I’d trash Pipe like a preacher, kept preachin’ me fast, “Just one more hit,” yeah—lie that would last I was twitch in the night, I was glitch in the frame, Every mirror I cracked had a version of “shame” And I wore that sh*t proud like a badge on my brain, Now I’m clean… why the hell do I miss that stain? Fck— I remember that hunger that chewed through my chest, That “fck it, go harder” that drowned out the rest Now it’s quiet as hell, and I’m passin’ the test… But the silence be louder than demons possessed [Chorus] I’m sober—yeah, broke that chain, no cap But why I miss the dirt, man, explain that? Miss bein’ low, miss hatin’ my name, Miss feelin’ alive in the middle of shame What kind of twisted-ass brain is this? Trade hell for peace, still crave that abyss Got light in my lungs but I’m chokin’ on bliss… Like why the f*ck do I miss what I don’t wanna miss? [Verse 2] White sheets, clean sink, no bugs in the wall, No cops at the door, no runnin’ at all But I’m stuck in my head like I’m missin’ the fall, Like I built me a throne but I’m missin’ the crawl Sh*t don’t add up— I was king of the ruin, the prince of decay, Now I’m buildin’ a life that won’t drift away But the chaos had color, this calm lookin’ gray… Like I traded a storm for a sky that won’t say Not a damn thing— Just me and my thoughts in a room with no war, No need to survive, what I fightin’ for? Back then I was dyin’, but felt somethin’ more… Now I’m livin’, but feel like I’m missin’ the core [Bridge] Hold up— Is it pain that I crave or the edge that it gave? Was I chained to the drug or enslaved to the wave? Was it ever the meth or the version it made— Of a man who felt real when he stood in the grave? [Verse 3] Nah, f*ck that—snap back, I remember the cost, Every friend that I burned, every line that I crossed Every piece of myself that I traded and lost, Every night that I prayed but I talked to exhaust I ain’t goin’ back, even if part of me begs, Even if memory crawls like a knife in my legs That shame was a leash, had me beggin’ for dregs, Had me bowin’ to nothin’, just chasin’ the dregs Twisted-ass love, yeah I loved my own fall, Had a toxic romance with the edge of it all Now I’m learnin’ to stand, not just answer the call… Buildin’ bricks outta truth instead breakin’ them walls [Chorus] I’m sober—yeah, broke that chain, no cap But why I miss the dirt, man, explain that? Miss bein’ low, miss hatin’ my name, Miss feelin’ alive in the middle of shame What kind of twisted-ass brain is this? Trade hell for peace, still crave that abyss Got light in my lungs but I’m chokin’ on bliss… But I choose this life—yeah, I’m done with that sh*t [Outro] Yeah… Missing the chaos don’t mean I’m weak Just means that darkness had claws in me deep But I ripped ‘em out, now I bleed when I speak… Still standin’, still sober—still fightin’ for me.
