[singer A] Step right up... step right up... don't be afraid of the dark. Every web needs a weaver. And every weaver... needs a band. We are Haggard and the Arachnoids! Shake your bones and raise your voice! The crypt is crowded and the stage is set — You ain't seen nothing... yet! [transition] [singer B] I am Haggard, the weaver at the center of the song, I spin my verses low and string the choruses long. My voice is velvet dragged across a weathered bone — I'm the spider at the heart of it, and this web is my throne! Three heads, four arms — it's Shake Rattle and Roll! One head swings, one slams, one swallows you whole! Every rhythm ever known in those three grinning skulls — He'll drum you six feet down, then drum you back for more! And Slaplick slaps the low end with three hands of bone, A sub-bass shudder in your marrow, rattling you home! [transition] [singer A] We are Haggard and the Arachnoids! Shake your bones and raise your voice! The crypt is crowded and the stage is set — You ain't seen nothing... yet! [transition] [singer B] Hairline plays the fracture where the broken bone gleams, Bends a note until it snaps inside your dreams! And Ivory's on the keys — bone fingers, ivory tone, From honky-tonk to cathedral, he plays it all alone! Bones blows the trombone like a graveyard gale, Mariachi fire and a funeral wail! And Catgut draws the bow with a devilish flick — Three hundred years of practice on that fiddle stick! The Deadbeats harmonize from three skulls in a row — Doo-wop from the crypt with a gang-shout go! DJ Rigor spins the stiffest set in town, Scratching up the ghosts until the sun goes down! And Jack jumps in on anything with strings — Banjo, sitar, mandolin — hear the wild card sing! [transition] [singer A] [whispered] And when the night is deepest... when the cold fog crawls... [bone pipe solo — the Bone Piper steps from the shadows] A living breath among the bones — the Piper plays! He only haunts our songs on special days! We are Haggard and the Arachnoids! Shake your bones and raise your voice! The crypt is crowded and the stage is set — You ain't seen nothing... yet! [transition] [singer B] Shake! [RATTLE AND ROLL!] Slaplick! [SLAP IT!] Hairline! [CRACK IT!] Ivory! [TINKLE THOSE BONES!] Bones! [BLOW, MAN, BLOW!] Catgut! [FIDDLE 'EM!] Deadbeats! [OOOOH-WAH!] DJ Rigor! [SCRATCH IT STIFF!] Jack! [OF ALL TRADES!] And I'm Haggard, baby — [THE SPIDER KING!] We are... [HAGGARD AND THE ARACHNOIDS!] Goodnight... [OR IS IT?!]
